Day 130

Study: Watermelon
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

New painting underway. More later...[Later] Was able to carry on until late, but then had to give in to fatigue in for tonight. Things were quite often going uncomfortably well for most of today and I thought I might finish it in one session. But as time went on, the lower back started twitching, the music started skipping and things started to head south. I could always blame the moon, but it's supposed to help me when nearly full - so I can't really complain about the good times it gave me today. I'll definitely finish this tomorrow. That is, once I'm able to see or decide (whichever) what cool neutral colour it is I'm supposed to be seeing that will raise my warm highs to where they need to be. The luminance is coming but it will be there if I can resolve this. But now - pain killer, pillow and have then have another peek.

Day 129

Study: Tangerine II
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen

The bank holiday weekend has come to pass - as has the tumultuous multi-session peeled tangerine challenge. Hopefully it wasn't a self-fulfilling prophesy when I said the other day I might be in for a licking, but I really had no idea just how much of one I was in for. To be fair, I did leave it for a whole day to gum up and get sticky so I could come to the light some. But still, I should know better than to try to manage paint within such an agitated context. As is a tertiary objective, I was able to eat the thing. So dry, until the chomp through the leathery paper skin encapsulating the juicy pulp. Now that the study's behind me it will be put upstairs in the drying room (facing the wall) so that the many lessons learned can emerge as and when my muse allocates. There's much to be excited about - as it is - and along the way, but alas still others that did wake me in the night. One particularly awkward moment was when I was but a few trowel loads from unclamping it. What IS that? A fly caught up in the viscous dunes of teal beside the left half of fruit. And when I tried to lift it out with the bow end of the knife - away it came - along with a draping curtain of filmy putty. Lovely. So had to graft that out and remix and lay back in a few times once I got the lumps out. A total hoot. (Note Bene: Ordinarily - every care is taken to ensure that no fruit or animals are harmed in the making of these paintings.) So, a moment of silence was observed. This coincided with the stony silence and exhaustion that followed a feverish cussing and screaming frenzy that ran its natural course. I've prepared the ground for tomorrow's study, sliced and arranged the subject and lighting on the stand. But then thought better of it and decided to put it in an airtight container in the fridge to keep for tomorrow. I've had about enough trouble with prematurely drying fruit for a while.

Day 127

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(Nearly...)

The night shift is back in session. More later...[Later - don't know what day it is] This is a bad, overly blue photo of this enormously challenging marathon, but this is where it is. Nearly there. Little more time Sunday eve.

Day 126

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(In progress)

The night shift is still in session. Back now after a fine evening at friends for dinner. We'll see...more later. [Later] Just realised I missed the 1am deadline so this actually turns up as a post begun on Friday. Anyway. There is a butt-kicking going on here for sure. And only thing worse than one of those is when it happens a long way from yo Mammy. And this one's happening out over treacherous uncharted waters with nary a compass or icepack in sight. The image posted represents the trauma's of Friday's nightshift and Saturday's dayshift up until a break for change of music programming, hot tea and mixing up another batch of chalk and stand oil (putty). The previous lot is getting a little inhibitively chunky around the walls of the container making for far too much nosing out of dingleberries from the smoothness if that makes any sense. As smoothness might appear hard to find. I also needed to grab this image in conjunction with the previous as roadmaps to what this fruit orignally looked like because it now has dried and toppled looking many years older than the fresh and wholesome few weeks it indeed is. I can still observe and seek colour in the highs, lows, pith and shadows - so it's technically still a study from life but it's safe to say we are pushing it on many fronts here in rainy west London tonight. I'm re-e-e-eally hoping to tie this monster down for good over the nightshift, after something to eat, but the only thing working for me right now is the thrill of the agony and the victory within defeat, that comes from swinging away at it.

Day 124 -125

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(Beginning oil sketch)

It's been a pretty frantic few days, with not a great deal to show for it by way of works in progress but did manage to get the remainder of some 25 pieces in a presentable state for mid-day Wednesday. This was when we were visited by 4 terribly charming and interesting people from Bainbridge Island, WA (US). They took time from their busy touring of London's finest sights and restaurants to venture out to Shepherd's Bush to spend a few hours with us and to see some paintings. We were blessed with the finest weather of the year so far which made for a perfect opportunity to hang out in our little patio garden. There really is nothing finer than making new friends - especially ones so genuinely responsive to the work. I also couldn't be more delighted to prepare the mangos and kiwis (days 104 & 111) for emmigration to their new home with these nice folk's in the Pacific Northwest. A little sad to see them go, but there's a chance to visit sometime down the road. No champagne in the sun today. Was battling an improbably non-drink related neck/headache that felt more like the post-dive press than the sulphite slam. However I was eventually able to get back to it. The cantaloupe to which I had pinned my hopes turned out to have a pale green inside as opposed to glissening orange - so this is going the way of fruit salad. Once I got the linen stretched, and checked around the markets, I settled on this partly peeled tangerine. I'm about 90 minutes into it and despite the luminance I'm seeing in the shadow areas - the pith and the smaller scale within larger format is already sounding off some alarm bells. This is both in terms of getting my knife around endless nooks, and in getting off-course with the rendering temptation again. I'm going to sleep on it - figuratively - and look again tomorrow before committing any fat pigment from the trowel. It might do me some good though to take a beating from this - to shake me awake from the dopamines that saturate the ego following the sale of a couple of paintings.

Day 123

So tired. Have been flat out on a multiude of non-painting painting tasks. Have some lovely folks from the West Coast (US) coming for a visit tomorrow while in town - and to have a look behind the scene into my agitated reality. Had to make some work presentable since they've come all this way. The forecast looks devine so we're looking forward to post-perusial drinks on the patio. Ah! Early special-occasion drinks in the sunshine - one of the perks of the trade, I guess. The easel beckons too, but we've been though this before. It's learning to trust me. Sleeptime now.

Day 122

Study:
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(New beginning)

The night shift is in full swing - and I think the batteries on this eyboard are dying. Up late doing some long-anticipated framing after the delivery early this evening as promised. How I love discovering a professional, helpful and reliable supplier. Truly and sadly a rare thing in our crazy world - but this makes the gems shine that much brighter. I have new fruit to do but don't know if I'll get to it tonight as it's after midnight already - and it wasn't even a BBQ night.

Day 119

Study: Nocturnal Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

Things didn't quite go as I thought today and this evening but I did finish the study. Not before the daily lavish lunch of sardines on Swedish crisp rolls - as expected - but eventually. The difficulty I found with this was once I'd found the luminance I was seeking in the deep hot rouge of the flesh - a real joy - the rest seemd to be keeping me from getting on with the next one. But then a tweak of saturation here and a softening of contrast there and I found other things to get re-excited about. One being that the squishy goodness of my medium can be not only sort of fleshy itself - depending on how you slice it - but is a downright joy and priveledge to spend time with. It's remembering to stack these cairns, as I go along, that helps me remember my way. Tomorrow, after a domestic upholstery project that's months overdue, I'm going to un-stretch some old acrylic s-duddies and restretch some new linen. Out with the duds and in with the goods. It will be nice to try it with a bit of bounce again - now that it's been a long run on the rigid panels. I'm hugely anticipating the delivery of some 25 custom-guillotined oak and beech frames on Monday which will give this particular passage of my earthly tenure so much more definition, I hope. I'm now resolving some niggling and subtle elements of my process in recent weeks which makes me optimistic about not only the struggles but the rewards ahead.

Day 118

Study: Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Nearly there)

Nocturnal work on the grapefuit is still in progress - really pushing to finish before sleep. But right now have to break to get the grill fired up to cook dinner. Don't want to leave it too late or the neighbours will think I'm mad if I'm out there much later than the usual 11pm...[Later] I lost track of time and would have carried on until either myself or the subjects dried out, shriveled up and rolled-over if I hadn't fallen asleep face down in the palette. No, I jest. But I did catch myself in the big mirror behind me in one of my looks back to see it from that magic perspectve and instead saw the frightful face of a zombie. This was when I realised the hour and suspected I was probably just slinging paint around just to finish so to start another tomorrow. No mas. Not to be. But come sardine-on-crackers time tomorrow, this will be but a distant memory, as I peruse the rapidly plummeting price of melons.

Day 117

Study: Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

Nocturnal works in progress. More soon.[Later] Back now after a birthday call to my dear sis and then another bit of ragging these quarter-subjects into the space. Not much time at the easel today as I'm still sourcing some materials and supplies for those aspects of this living process that I put off. It's always good cutting the new fruit and seeing how I can get the most colour out of it and what sorts of colours behind will help to achieve that. For the last couple of studies, I've been setting things down on a semi-reflective white box lid. This does bring lots of rich light up from below and creates a bit of dramatic backlighting - and though the mirroring in the foreground is discernable, it's not worth trying to articulate in this realm of the agitated. As much as the construction, perspective and format are more the plastics of landscape - this is still still life. Not a scene as such, but a sort of 3-way discoursive process involving me, me, my demons and my citrus subjects serving as facilitators or moderators. At least this is what we were all discussing as I took the long way home in the walk back from the art store today. So compelling was it at one point that I do believe I received a concurring wink from over the edge of a horizontal can of strong cider, from a well intoxicated fellow ranter on the green. I look forward to this new moon - and tomorrow - when we all quiet down and it's time to squeeze out a few piles of paint and putty and commence my chromatic mudslide.

Day 116

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

The sun has been hiding for days and I've just been advised that the unsettled feeling that's hanging over all enthusiasm might be down to the moon. As much as I'm keen to welcome the explanation, it seems I only wrote a week or two ago how the full moon was making a loopster of me. So it seems I'm on a fortnightly cycle - then - well synched up with my sista, Luna - who's going to pull the same naughty tricks at the end of each wane as well(!) I haven't had a battle like this since like, uh, the last study, but at least I feel positive that even with the moon working against me I was still able to get in front of the easel and record the moment(s) - and learn from it. The one thing that keeps on occurring to me as I finish one is a sense of optimism and excitement about the next one. As long as this keeps happening, I might just be able to survive this thing out through the diapers and into the urn. Colour. What a tormenting blessing. The fact that it's all right there just waiting to be observed and mixed, for any occasion or subject with only about a squillion possibilities and things to be taken into consideration. Not least of which is the colour right next to whatever one happened to grab your fancy or suit your mistaken understanding. As I go along there are a about a dozen little pockets of the spectrum that seem to show up recurringly that I'm learning to say no to. If I can just eliminate these then, at least I'll be through that stage of this journey synonomous with tying the white belt of a gi before my first karate lesson in the long road to attaining the black one. Progress. The big news of the day was that I've got some hot leads on some quality framing that will spare me time, embarrassment and loss of money in wrapping the best of what I have in oak myself.

Day 115

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Finished soon)

Still working...More later...[Later] Really don't know what is going on with the BT servers or Blogger, but after trying for 2 hours well into the wee hours I had to give in. It could also be something here, but 4am was no time to be troubleshooting my router. So on to the study. After taking the weekend off following a shaky reunion with the easel last week, I was really hoping things might come to me a little easier with fresh eyes. I don't know if it's to do with the late start - having spent most of the day either in traffic on the way to or from the framing suppliers or sourcing materials - but we surely have a full-blown mess on our hands here. My employer in the summer after high school graduation ran a construction company, but his real area of expertise was killing. He was a career sniper and trainer in the USMC. He was what you might call a fairly direct geezer and he could assess performance from quite a long way away, if you catch my drift. Having observed my pre-apprentice skills putting on some cedar siding in the sweltering June heat of North Carolina, he said in his southern drawl, "listen son, how 'bout you keep least half the tools you're working with, like that hammer down there, at your end of the scaff'l'ing - maybe even in you too'belt, then you wouldn't have to keep getting up and down off them lilly white knees of yours and we might get some damn sidin' on the house 'fore the summer's out. Cause right now you lookin' 'bout like a f**kin' soup sandwich!" Ahh, if only my gentle teacher Mr. Yeager could see me now he'd be putting one of his other favourite questions to me - "Are ya f**kin' blind, son?!" I've been getting such generous and kind comments both through email and posted comments - I'm ashamed to think that for about 10 minutes I started to feel like I know what I'm doing - and it shows. Awake again now. It's another day. I'm able to get to this much sooner today so I'm going to do my best to wring out some of the soup.

Day 112

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning sketch)

Night shift. Stay tuned...[La-ater] After a jumbled day of thwarted plans and objectives - and a crook neck to go with it - all hope of tackling another 2 of something was slipping away. Before I knew it it was, and indeed still is, the middle of the night but I managed to drag me arse off the floor where I was exercising and relaxing my neck - and then passed out - to prepare a panel and set up this new still life of plump nocturnal vernal wonder. I feel I should gleen so much more from the early observational stages but get too excited to squeeze out and mix that green that seems to give me a delusory sense of the very power of Spring herself at my finger tips. These particular specimen have a tide line of red that stops abruptly daring anyone to knife-in the transition to the yellowy green that Nature has made look oh so simple. I'll try and get to this early tomorrow before preparing for some company in the early afternoon. We thought we'd take advantage of the wind and rain and have ourselves a little barbie (BBQ that is). If I don't get to it then, it'll have to be Sunday morning before a date with 208-week-old Isabella, who is surely going to bring her usual magic. A little marching muse - she is.

Day 111

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board | Sold

That's that. Was it challenging, educational, rough and naughty? Oh yes indeed. Will I need to repeat the study another 20 times before it can be done with any familiarity or panache? Uh, yepper. The Chinese have the Kiwi as their national fruit. And after getting to know it over a short couple of days - better than I do most of my subjects - I now understand why. These hirsute little beauties are feisty. And. The longer they are exposed to the air and knives in the flailing hands of a cussing lunatic, they soon start shedding hair. Again, understandable. Apart from all of the practical and physical awkwardness of the lighting and fruit drying - I feel some new ground was covered here in stretching the palette. Pushing the green to neutral was an exercise in how much pink and violet I could pump into it before it started getting all colouristic. This isn't something that I'm averse to, I just find it superfluous to the agitated parameters of my usual tasks-at-hand. Besides, when I'm confronted with a battle like the non-reflective bristle of a surface such as these have, and confusion and tone are my only company, there's only so much I can do. Get thick paint on it and crank up the chroma. I noticed at one point that the drier it grew, the more pronounced the sinew radiating spoke-like around the core. It took some restraint to avoid taking my pointiest knife and carving them out one by one in the fashion of an illustrator doing a juice carton. But not only would that have been tedious and not really painting as I see it - it would have in turn called attention to the distinct lack of rendered bristle on the skin of it. And then I'd have had it. The devilish cycle will have begun then, with only the 4-colour print process - or death - at the sunset end of that road. I'm feeling really good about a new start on 2 of something - anything - tomorrow.

Day 110

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In the works)

What a day. It's late and I need some rest. One thing's for sure, I must finish this tomorrow because they aren't the multi-session sort of subjects. I know this because when I came down to see them in the daylight today, they'd already started to dry out into an octagonal shape - and leaning quite a bit. This meant beginning over again with another piece of fruit and trying to get the cut as close as poss. Once I did this I realised the sun wasn't going to show me the way as per yesterday's prayers and this - or any painting - was going to involve lighting the stage. Being one of those days again where nothing is straightforward it was clear that I needed to step back from it. This led to a complete tidy, sweep and mop of the studio as a sort of energy channel laxative. Eventually got down to it quite late and I'm now positively certain this is going to be a tricky mistress. The only way it could be any trickier would be to add a pineapple as a third feature. Not a chance of that. These things let a lot of light through, and with the orange and green envelope, there's not a lot of room to stray either side, and keep it edible, loveable. The other thing is surface. The skin is actually green and translucent but obfuscated by a blonde-to-ginger covering of hair. At the end of the day it seems it's going to be about as much about managing fur lines as some kind of kooky Martian peepshow. And on that note, I cover them under glass - to retard evaporation - and call it another session. Thursday already - sheesh!

Day 109

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning?)

There seems to be no getting around the fact that these first days back after any sojourn away are going to be ugly. The sooner I learn to accept - but not necessarily expect - this, the better. Apart from scraping back the palette, nothing - not even the gesso on panel stage or the foray on the fruiterers - was synched with my tidal waters today. So. These chunky cuts of Chinese gooseberry (or Kiwi depending on which side of the Himalayas you come from) are giving me plenty to jot down in line one of square one of the naked checklist of my mind. The first thing, with a Vonnegut-styled asterisk beside it, is to see of we can't get them looking less like two hunks of jamon from a deli counter - and more like the luminous source of über-goodness they actually were as they rocked away from the knifeblade that unlocked them. On the outside they couldn't be less conducive to this painter's painting trowel, but the green fleshy inside is where I'm hoping the art is hiding. It always is. Lighting will be key in this and has been hell so far with the repositioned study stand and the time-lapse cloud strobe gusting across the Queen's island at present. I'm even going to have to make another batch of my putty medium as the mango's drained me of it before leaving town. When it starts this poorly, the only thing to do is look forward to squeezing out some of that buttery colour and praying for a few winks of sustained light to show me the way to the heart of it.

Day 108

Only just arrived back from a delightful weekend away. All eventually went well with the signage project I was helping very a dear friend with. No time to do any work tonight - or while away for that matter - so won't be approaching the easel again until tomorrow - when I'm expecting to be able to draw from a considerably better cache of verve. My studio humms of ripened produce. Time to rest.

Day 105

It's a non-painting day today - much to sort out before a trip to Yorkshire for the long bank holiday weekend. If I'm really lucky and organised - both of which are normally only characteristic in transient fits - I'll be posting more phone shots of beach drawings over the weekend. But since I'm doing some manual construction tasks as part of the trip, it's more likely that my agitivities will resume on Monday evening - by which time non-painting anxiety should be bubbling to frenzied levels.

Day 104*

Study: Mangos
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board | Sold

Got back too late to get the image up last night so here's the 'finished' mangos from yesterday. More later.

Day 103

Study: Mangos
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

Came to a few realisations today. The first one was that after years of saying how much sense the effect of the moon on Earthlings made, only today am I beginning to see these effects in action. Well not just today, but because the almost daily account of things in this new journaling discipline, if I go and look at what was occurring (or not) on previous moons going back 28 days at a time, I begin to see a pattern. One particularly strange self-portrait session comes screaming to the fore as does a nutty conclusion to what will be known as the Persimmon Project. Today was much the same. Close but ain't quite got it. Another breakthrough was learning what is meant by my putty being able to actually cut paint without the need for complimentary colour or some version of my own agitated white. This is big for me, because it means better handling of the super-saturated pigments (e.g. cadmium family) without so much waste and without blowing the hue when it only needs lifting or sliding one way or the other. And lastly but surely not leastly is the plain mortal fact of the changing shape of the focal lenses of my eyes. Yes. I've written it - and this is the first step in acceptance and change. For a few weeks now I've been finding that no matter how close I get to the tight spots - I'm just stabbing in - not quite the dark - but I really might as well close my eyes, apply paint, and then back away to see what wonders were enacted. Looks like a trip to eye doctor for a test is in order to read the proverbial writing on the wall. I can handle this - really. But tomorrow I'm looking forward to the full thrust of the lunar phenomena, now that I know what it's up to, and now that I know how to cut paint and also why I can't see up close. I'll give myself one more good glimpse - with eyes both open and closed - at these confounding little gems so I can push back and pull forward what needs it. And I'll squint away as I mentally tick them off 10 at a time.