Agitated Realism

2008-04-12T02:14:00.004Z

How the frail human heart manages to contain the rapturous power of this will forever be one of my life’s true wonders. Simply unbloggable. Neither agitated nor real.

day 3/ ii

2008-04-03T01:42:00.005Z

Study: Grapes with Red Plum
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Board

It's now the middle of the night. And not just any night but the eve of the day the experts - using formulas I still can't grasp - reckon the little one will bop on down the bunny trail and say "howdy!" It's certainly because of this that I was able to take another running start at the grapes and plum and before they shrink so wrinkly small that time and dimension invert in some way that made more sense when the sentence began than it does now. Also found that there was time to post an interim entry about what happened between the last session and now. It's fair to say that getting this one study behind me will help in ways I can't quite articulate right now as drowsiness jumps me. Although I won't do any more to this study, there are elements about a new putty formula I should mention. So if things are calmer than the experts predict tomorrow, I might add to or edit this. I've already been given the all-clear by my beloved that I can paint tomorrow if I'm not otherwise engaged.

day 2/ ii

2008-04-03T00:49:00.007Z

Study: Grapes with Red Plum
57.5 x 35.5 cm
(In progress)

The grand plans to maybe see this study through "tomorrow" wound up amounting to it being completely scraped back to a faceless, placeless plane of broken line and colour. In the recent weeks and months as a spectator reviewing the efforts of so many actual working painters, I've come across so many who inspire me with this scraped back, create-and-destroy approach yielding the lush surfaces of a Lascaux bison-scape. Thing about getting into working like that myself is, now that I've got reading glasses (yes I know) with a 2.0 magnification - I get to see all of that goodness r-i-i-ight up close requiring not so much as a squint or stoop. This, for me personally, makes for an ever unfolding whimsical spiral of unproductive texture mapping comparable to cloudgazing - also a personal favourite. And as much as I love it, not only can't I get anything done - it's pretty challenging to know when something has even started. Perhaps this approach will find me another time when, well, the time is right. So anyway. I mixed up a pile of paint similar to those in the pile I scraped off. And then it set-up before I could get back to it. I'm reading Berger's Shape of a Pocket at the moment on the wonderful Bev Byrnes' recommendation. This makes me feel better in the meantime when I'm contemplating mixing up another pile and then leaping into birthing partner mode as the waters go. A-ah-ooo-gah!

day 1 / ii

2008-03-28T23:43:00.019Z

Study: Grapes with Red Plum
57.5 x 35.5 cm
(In progress)

Uh. Yes. More than a few scriptic scenarios have flickered past my mind's keypad over recent weeks of just how eloquently this once-scorching stop on the blogosphere might be reignited but nothing quite does it. Simply put, all of the behind-the-scenes developments of late last year so rapidly engulfed the day-to-day agitivities that there was not only scanty little focussed energy left to apply to the work, but even less to filter the world-wobbling from the profound. Agitated Realism (i) began as one nut's effort to make sense of the struggle to experience paint and all of its isms, izers and istics. This new year (ii) will be an attempt to take it up another story. I could wax gratuitous on the gravity of the challenges and vividities ahead this year contrasted with those of a year ago but - ee by gum (as they say) - that's hardly the way to go on this first blog posting of the year. No. With but a week between me and that surreal moment when I behold the Universe's Big Knockout, all I can do is (FINALLY and desperately) sling paint around in a frazzled attempt to create order, if even pictorially. Maybe even create a sense of place where these grapes and red plum can live in harmony and loving kindness with one another. It's all so completely perfect and also so completely bonkers really. That's not drawing much of a distinction between the painting of it and the living but that line's always been kinda funny. It will come. It's good to be back. It's good to reflect on one session at the easel and think of the possibility that tomorrow could see this study through. NB. Wanted to thank all of the fantastic people from all over the world (incredibly) - both for the support of the work over the last year here and also for checking in on our well-being and the status of things during the offline time. It's not easy to express in this format just how much this has meant.

Day One-Ninety-Something...7?...8?

2007-12-12T17:14:00.000Z

Study: Tangerines with Clementine
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel

No excuses here - just some good old jubilation at having reached the top of my climb back into the light. This is not really the format or avenue for dissecting behind-the-scenes issues, but let it be sufficient to say that some matters of circumspect self-efficacy have been duly ruminated. Sometimes the passages leading out are both steep and slick, but they are part of my adventure for better or worse and they've taken me, yet again, at long last to the end of another study (and long sentence). I'm expecting any day now to be contacted by ArtNews to discuss just what goes through my mind in the days, nights and weeks that pass between swathes of paint being laid down towards the finishing of an alla prima study. I jest. But I do feel like my process (as it relates to my subject matter) and I need to have a serious come-clean about what sort of naughty preoccupations I've been having on the side centered around the human form. Between impending childbirth, parenthood and the figurative life drawing study - as much as I've tried to let it be - these have all collided to severely disrupt my enthusiastic still life arrangements of Nature's more plump and colourful, as was my creative wont. I'll have some time to work through this between now and when the figure sessions resume in a few weeks. As for this study, I haven't been more pleased to get to the better side of a shakey patch in some time. This image will likely need updating as the usual camera settings seem again outdone by the yellows, oranges and blues within the same format. In spite of much of the above, this study remains but one more segment in the forward push towards general progress. [N.B. And we are still on and excited for our big appointment with Universal Wonder in April.]

Day 196

2007-11-22T22:00:00.000Z

Study: Tangerines with Clementine
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning sketch)

Thanksgiving Day in the USA. I haven't properly participated in this holiday in like 17 years and it usually pops into my agitated world here completely out of nowhere. But still, it stops me repeatedly throughout the day - wondering what nuttiness is occurring from one table to the next from North Carolina, to Virginia, to Pennsylvania. I was thinking of you all - and fondly too! For my day here, the plan was an early start at the easel, after a call to the people about ordering the parts to repair and recondition our fridge. Well the parts order was confirmed at very nearly first light, but this beginning sketch of an arrangement of citrus delights was wrapped up well after last light(!) Setting it up took way more time than usual despite a fine selection of all sorts and sizes from the trusty window box outside - at least 1-2 degrees frostier than the purpose-built item awaiting drastic repair downstairs. Seems a good deal of time is still getting away from me due to preoccupation with figure study. Some spent actually doing it. But the larger bit on researching where else I can get a session or 2 in to compliment the once-per-week dose at present that's yielding regression and digression more than progression. And as long as it's within cycling (in the rain) distance, costs less than a session in the pub, and keeps distracting crackling low-fidelity Bangles and Elton John's tracks to a minimum - then we're getting somewhere. As we race into The Season, most such life-drawing opportunities will be nudged to the rear burners. But I'm trying to make ready for January...Anyway. Today's study reminded me of Days 10-14 in January, when I was hacking and stabbing away at similar subjects with one insufficient mixture of pink, red and yellow after another, only to discover it was a chemical thang. I then got myself some Cadmium Yellow Deep and my agitated world began to revolve again. Here's hoping for a comparable breakthrough all these months later on this study here. Not asking for the world. Just some dizzyingly engaging progress. (Admittedly, some regular easel time would probably carry me a little too.)

Day 195

2007-11-16T20:58:00.001Z

Study: Pear with Pommegranate
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel

Another couple of days, another year older. If not for the fridge, this week-long alla prima study would not have been possible. Even with the fridge the wobbly flesh within the pear could only barely support it slumped over the petrifying pommegranate. But it's finished now and we're moving on. That's the key. For as drawn out an exercise as it was, some aspects of this study can be considered strengths and steps in a positive direction. The idea of taking steps with direction are two long lost notions from my agitated reality for some weeks now - months even. It was nice to learn to lay paint down thickly again, but to do so without any kind of rendering formula or colour plan. And there were other delights like actually leaving untouched gessoed linen and tinted ground throughout. To think I might well have even underworked some aspects of a study this soon after a lapse. Preposterous really. But it felt like it tonight - tomorrow could bring a different sense. Wanted to thank everyone for the sweet birthday wishes from around the hemisphere both on here and by email. So nice. And to those who let it slide despite my subtle reminder within this very blogspace - and you know who you are brothers and sisters - no offense taken too deeply. The day was spent with my rapidly transforming beloved - with breakfast and gifts followed by a very long walk on a brisk sunny day to - and all through - Holland Park and back. Had a few stop-offs. One at the Anglesea Arms for oysters and ale (for 1) by fireside, and the other at our butchers for a couple of whopping sections of chateaubriand we had later by a blazing fireside here at home. So retiring have we become - those of us on gestation patrol - and so soon. But still. I think I'm going to ease right into it like the plush papa bear house robe I was given with my other prezzies.

Day 194

2007-11-14T21:22:00.001Z

Study: Pear with Pommegranate
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning and nearly finished)

The days are filled with questions, speculations, evaluations and potential permutations. Is it going to go this way or that? Shall I pursue the figurative from the drawing sessions in paint - or take advantage of the clear mornings outside? Will it ever come back to me even in the simpler indoor still life studies? I visited an aging artist last week who can't lift himself out of the funk of depression. He couldn't quite put his finger on why he felt so numb about his world. And in the past, only medication could change things - and not necessarily for the better. We looked at paintings for over 4 hours and I could only bring him to a point beyond indifference about them towards the final hour of the visit. His grand apartment was like a museum to another time with hundreds of paintings everywhere - up on the wall and stacked deep and tall along every wall from the front door to the back. He showed me his sketchbooks and his 3 paint (mixing) mills - and reminded me how he taught the namesake of my particular brand of paint how to make the stuff a number of years ago. He still makes his own and beautifully inscribes every label of every tube, although he could tell the colour by sniffing it. When I rang him a couple of days later to check in and to tell him how much I enjoyed the afternoon, he said he was feeling much better and thought the interaction did him good. It did me some good too. I've forgotten completely where I was before the lens of my focus became so muddied with questions about the future. But questions are all I have when the agitation is careening joyfully tortuously along as it should. So the questions are here for now. Now what about Day 195? I think because it will be my birthday - I might give myself the present of slaying this mushy coupling of fruit on my stand so I can get on with the fiery red Amaryllis our guests brought the other day for lunch - if they last. And a thanks goes out to dear Jazmin Velasco for the nudge about the blank post earlier.

Day Whatever

2007-11-10T01:40:00.000Z

Study: Pear with Pommegranate
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Oil Sketch)

Well. Here we are after an aeon. Sparing my patient readership the post-prandial blathering, there will be more - later. Believe it or not...[Later] It is quite a bit later, but here just the same. Don't quite know what the problem has been lately, only that it seems I've been in something of a state of quasi-shock now off and on for a couple of months. Trouble sleeping. Hyper-self-scrutiny. All the evil stuff that makes for madness. And heartily hitting the hooch, given the slightest opportunity, and then the international phone lines - as my poor unprepared stateside siblings will attest.

Day 192

2007-11-01T20:58:00.001Z

Study: Chocolate Roulade with Strawberry
57.5 x 35.5 cm | Oil on Linen over Panel

And as if by mischief, I've managed to disappear for another whole week. Last weekend ended up being way way fuller than I was ever imagining it to be and it carried over into this week completely unexpectedly, in more ways than I care to elaborate on here. The drawing day on Saturday went down sort of as planned, in that there was a long day of drawing (samples here) - but generally it was slightly on the crowded and overfacilitated side. I'm a big fan of structure to a point, but the day seemed to take on an air of a life-drawing survey or overview and wasn't really billed as such. No real harm done though, still. Then - for my sins - on Sunday, I attended the first ever regulation NFL game to be played outside the US (and count) at the brand new Wembley Stadium. My cohorts, mostly nutters from the music industry, seemed to treat the whole shebang as something of an hedonistic all-day rock concert. And sadly they had far too heavy an influence on my comparatively reserved approach to spectator participation. It most certainly did feel as if I was party to a reality that would very soon become a swiftly waning aspect of my...uh.... foreseeable... reality. What with our life-changing blessing that is ever-growing, ever-closer, to rearing a head or limb with each passing day. And this is probably a good thing too. Anyway. Had to call this Roulade study a study. The only further touches made were necessary after (again) some unidentified last-minute house guest's fingers ploughed trails across its apparently irresistable tactile terrain, as it lay peacefully for days in the basement of the fridge. Done now. Since then, there's been precious little easel time as I tinker away through busy-work preparing for that next push that just absolutely has to be about to happen(!) There's simply no other way to put it other than to say that focus is a slight problem at the moment. Unsettled times. Earlier this week, as I gacked my way through a day, I recalled a hackneyed little trinket of an entrepreneurial expression from another life about lead dogs and changing views. Yawn. Well. Not to revel in my present stagnation, I must declare that the vantage point of an agitated dog chasing his tail can be pretty darn dynamic too. On other news, the scaffolders arrived this evening after dark - and after promising for 3 weeks now - to dismantle the scaffolding from out front by streetlight. What else? Oh, I recently politely declined to donate one of my studies to a small local charity auction. Such are the salient peaks in my agitated Autumnal world as it stands. This will - this must - get better.

Day 191

2007-10-26T22:31:00.001Z

Study: Chocolate Roulade
with Strawberry
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Maybe finished)

First up on the first day of the rest of my painting life is this mouth-watering North African Swiss Roll, otherwise known in the informed circles to which I have only sporadic access, as Chocolate Roulade. Splendid subject. The sole aim was to get in front of the easel, get a head wafting full of linseed oil and lay down paint for many long hours, thinking as little as possible about what was going on. All went according to plan over the 9 hour session, though, I can't quite decide whether to leave it as is so the painting spends the night on the fridge shelf and the sumptuous subject under the fishbowl (just so it thinks its under continuous scrutiny and stays fresh). As it happens, there'll be no painting on it tomorrow, when I'll be otherwise engaged in the last weekend of The Big Draw for most of the day (10am-6pm). My particular venue will be focussing on the figure. Surprise. Looking forward to some sustained study after the swift 5, 10, 15 and 25 minutes studies on Tuesday evenings. Drawing subject aside, it was very very good to be working with paint after so long. Not sure where I am with all the new direction I was so preoccupied with leading up to the hiatus, but my thinking is that I need to get on with the painting or get even busier with wasting away. No brainer, that. And that's just the ticket.

Day 190 (3 weeks on...)

2007-10-25T19:15:00.000Z

Charcoal Study: Head 1
70 x 50 cm
Charcoal on Paper

So! Having received a torrent of emails expressing both hate and dismay, I needed to get something up. Besides it grew ever-tedious explaining the hiatus. One little broken rain gutter cascaded into a minor residential refurb and re-order and thousands of dollars worth of damage control and reparations. Since we needed scaffolding for the gutter and cornicing repairs - it made sense to do just about everything else we could imagine to the outside front of the house that might benefit from scaffolding. Bit it didn't stop there. Once the tools came out of the storage cupboards taking over the living space, they couldn't really go back until as much as possible was checked-off of a long and growing list. I'm now at long last to point where I can resume my studio work saving the small miscellaneous tasks for weekends and non-painting down time. Through it all, I have managed to remain committed to the Tuesday evening figure drawing sessions and these are refreshing on many levels. There is a long 8-hour session this weekend that I'm hoping to attend. Obviously, all this cheating on my studio still life studies is raising internal alarms about the immediate direction of the work as I creep back up on it. Of course, I'm ignoring these alarms and saying yes to it all. Will there be some figurative painting here in the not-too-distant future? Likely. Does this mean the still life studies and potential outdoor work are fancies of the past? Well, since my window-box and refridgerator are populated with subjects dying to take the stand - I don't think so. On other fronts, saw a surprisingly interesting retrospective of John Everett Millais last weekend. When I say surprising I mean there was far more to the man than the Pre-Raphaelite movement he co-founded. His body of work filled room after room in the Tate Britain. Rarely one to be enamoured with so-called detail and fussy tiny brush work, I couldn't help but be inspired by the veritable lifetime of work on display - especially later on when he loosened and untucked his cravatte a bit. It bears mentioning that, to date, he remains the youngest ever student to be admitted to the Royal Academy - at the tender age of 11. And judging by the prodigious drawings he did at 9 or 10, it could have been even earlier. I read somewhere that "no amount of paint can ever make a bad drawing - or bad idea for that matter - a good one." Ain't it the truth. I started back today by taking a good long squinting grimacing look at myself in the mirror and threw charcoal and chalk around until blue-black dusty stalagtites dropped from my ample nostrils. Looking forward to 2nd gear tomorrow.

Day 189

2007-10-04T12:18:00.000Z

Figure Study 1.0
70 x 50 cm
Charcoal Paper
(20-minute and under poses)

It seems it's been a month of Sundays since I last posted. I've been having one of those times where given more than about 1-and-a-half things to do all becomes a spiralling cyclone of agitation. Last week was rather more challenging than I was expecting with loads more time required of the framing and show preparations than anticipated - as usual. The show itself was a success for me on most levels despite the lack of sales of the displayed work. I did however trade cheque for painting in the backroom by prior arrangement, finding a grand new home for the large Pomegranate from Day 54 in March. Other exciting stuff of the last week included a last-ditch chance to see the Impressionists By-the-Sea show at the Royal Academy. This was a dazzling collection of all the usual suspects (Monet, Boudin, Courbet, Corot) along with a few surprises in the way of Whistler, Jongkind and Pelouse. Courbet's palette, particularly the cerulean, was simply charged with a vibrance I wasn't expecting for his period and the loose but fine brushwork of Boudin was as mind-boggling as ever, if lost a little whenever things were scaled up. Maybe this was due to the leisure of finishing indoors. Not sure. Apart from the the show I participated in and this one I enjoyed viewing, I've begun attending some drawing sessions to re-discover and re-nourish long neglected skills in understanding the figure. I'm hoping to translate these efforts into a figurative direction later in the winter but needed to get into the drawing now to better prepare me for all of that to come in a few months - See (1, 2, 3) The sessions are serious but relaxed - and still a little pacey - with professional models, artists and beginners all toiling away to a soft eclectic playlist of music. I shouldn't think I'll be populating Agitated Realism with many more of these accounts (may begin another figure-specific blog or section of my website) but wanted to show something of my time in the past umpteen days. Forgive us...Oh... And one other slightly MAJOR preoccupation that I've been hiding from my intimate readership over the last couple of months is the tiny matter of my beloved and I being wholly and utterly blessed with the gift of unplanned mid-life pregnancy(!!!) Yes. And as with any mid-life pregnancy it comes with many screening tests, scans and other nerve-wracking precautions. But by this time next week we'll know a whole lot more about just how delightfully wacky our already-nutty world will get come April 3rd. So. There it is. I've gone and typed it. Palette knives crossed, there'll be much more to follow on this. Also more painting is on the near-distant horizon to go along with the crash-course to end all crash-courses on multi-tasking and sleeplessness. My, my, my!

Day 188

2007-09-25T22:52:00.000Z

No painting. Framing, framing, framing. That and clearing up the house after the plasterer finished. Now there's an artist. So compelling to watch a master of his trade at task. I also learned many things about craft, keeping tidy while you work and efficiency. No matter how many miles he paced up on his strap-on stilts skimming the ceiling to a shiny pink luster, it never looked overdone. Hope some of this rubbed off on me. But the best was watching him lay down that first thick layer. Incidentally, he seemed to be equally fascinated by the trowelled peaks in the surface of many of my studies. A kindred spirit perhaps. More of the same framing and clearing tomorrow. Could have maybe managed an hour on something today but was just too knackered to force it.

Day 187

2007-09-24T22:59:00.000Z

Study: Grapes with Orange
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel

Decided to give this study another long session of my time today. And though I am posting it in finished format, like the last couple of these linen-over-panel pursuits, it may find itself back on the easel after some time out of sight. Something in the surface seems to yearn for it. Perhaps I can bother my good colleague Tad about that oil and sandpaper thing he mentions from time to time. Sounds nitty and gritty. I have to remember patience, and that I'm not trying to learn how to render what's in front of me, but rather trying to learn balanced a way to work. And it's a long long trip, and at the end of the line there will hopefully have been some painting going on. I can definitely see many more serial attempts at this subject - with the objective of doing it all in one go while the grapes are firm. This is not unthinkable considering this has about 8 hours in it over 5-6 days of on and off attention between distractions. We had a plasterer in today making our water-damaged walls as smooth as a puppy's paw pad - which will make for a quietening of the subconscious. A lessening of agitated line in our midst. I've got about 8 frames to knock-up over the coming days, some for sold paintings and some for this weekend's show, so easel time will be limited. Wonder what will end up on the stand?

Day 186

2007-09-23T22:37:00.001Z

Study: Grapes with Orange
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning oil sketch)

After a long week of many none-painting tasks like finally resolving my new website, designing promotional cards for print, organizing framing to be assembled this week and a handful of other things - I finally got a moment with the grapes and orange. I'm not sure how much further I took this in this last session tonking and scraping away as much as I put down. I'm a little frustrated that I can't seem to get a sustained amount of time in order to put it to bed before the grapes lose the magic - making it all that much more tired - and feeling it needs a new start again. I'll make this call tomorrow. There is alot on my plate this week so I hate to scrap and re-start it - with only realistically 2 days max (maybe another half) at the easel. My so-called new approach seems to have become a stab in the dark beginning with each time back after a mini-lapse. And this ain't gonna work. On a brighter note, another painting is going to be heading across the pond and across the wilderness to its new home in Canada. Must rest now.

Day 184

2007-09-20T22:34:00.000Z

Study: Grapes with Orange
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning oil sketch)

Still trying to get myself and this study back into the groove with a new bunch of grapes...[Later] Well after a late dinner I came back to this with the intention of spending another hour or two at the most and then getting some much needed sleep. But time got a way again and here I sit typing at 4am. It would have been enough just to get in front of the easel today after too many days distracted by all the other activities non-painting about this painting lark. Much of that is about wrapped up, but the scaffolding is still literally hanging over me for the work on the front of the house. Anyway. The new bunch of grapes I bought today are better within the space than the last and work better, it seems. Just trying to get a grip on the complexity of it for now while testing some colours next to one another. With this oversized viewpoint there are many layers of volume to deal with. The containing space, the middle space, and the space around the each part of the bigger mass. Combine this with directional light, reflected light and transluscent light - and my rusty hands and eye - and I'll likely be right back here at this hour tomorrow. Too dozey to continue.

Day 183

2007-09-19T01:39:00.000Z

STILL sidetracked, but end is in site as of 2.40am Wednesday. Will I ever paint this week?

Day 182

2007-09-17T21:32:00.000Z

Still not back to my easel. But had a long day of tortuous non-painting activity to support my painting. The orange and grapes are sitting tight and withering slowly while I flail about up to my ears in website construction. Woe is me. Painting tomorrow come what may. I couldn't possibly handle another day like this especially - with rain.

Day 181

2007-09-14T23:24:00.001Z

Study: Grapes with Orange
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning oil sketch)

Well the front of the house is now scaffolded again for the second time in 3 years. Kind of depressing but the repairs I need to do are vital to the fabric of the house, not to mention a way to avoid much more cost in water damage in a chronically maritime climate. While the boys were throwing it up I continued to resolve the remaining issues with the design of my offical website and navigation. Hoping to have this live by the Tile Kiln Studios show. We'll see. Also was able to get up and down the road to pick up some fruit for study. Have been gravitating towards grapes of all kinds now for a while so finally decided to embrace the complexity and see if I can get it work for me in my new explorations. Was only able to get a start on it before going to friends for a lovely dinner and playtime with the precious Isabella. Got straight back into it when I walked through the door without changing - taking a rare chance in white jeans - which seemed to keep everything noticeably restrained. I'm going to enjoy the challenge of the here one minute gone the next light that shines through the plump little edible pebbles. As least that's the official line tonight. For invariably the longer I spend gacking away, and the bunch dries, the quicker the lights will go out like old fashioned bulbs on a Christmas tree.

Day 180

2007-09-13T22:46:00.000Z

Not a day for painting after all. Had an early appointment followed by breakfast in town and a trip to L. Cornelissen's for some Mars Black (at a generous 50% discount.) Severe vacillation set in upon returning home as to whether to shop for subjects or load up and hit the great outdoors. Clouds came and went and so did the time and spirit. Was able to make some more headway on the website, that's becoming increasingly more necessary as time rolls on. Still have some framing to organise and the little matter of the scaffolders arriving very early tomorrow to provide me the safe means to carry out repairs and refurishment on the front of the house - around the painting of course. A tremendous opportunity to roll-out the ol' multitasking skills in between - uh - walking and chewing gum, that is. Lordy.

Day 179

2007-09-12T23:50:00.001Z

Study: Peppers with Egg
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(It for now)

The session was more of a race against the deflating flaccid capsaican company than one of real finishing up. The bridge is near. This study has some exciting things going for it in the direct painting arena as well as some fairly strained aspects to it with regard to its natural, more indirect, leaning. The possibilities with the silica, marble and chalk putties are not being optimised alla prima. Even in alla prima over a number of days. As a result of this and my own heavy hands, I lost some of yesterday's verve in the backmost passages but fortunately not forever. So. This will face the wall for a while to stick down and it might get more groping at a later date. Each day, or hour even, at the easel is a walk in time - a reminder of a time when time was, as a wise friend says, "not modern." I can only press on keeping my eyes open to the road signs and try not to run out of gas or find myself lost at sea-of-sand without camel or compass. Newness and juiciness tomorrow. Either a trip to the luscious organic stand or 2-wheeled easel-aslung outing to points as yet unknown.

Day 178

2007-09-11T21:33:00.001Z

Study: Peppers with Egg
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(In progress...nearly)

Had a good full session on this today but only came closer to finishing it despite my bolder plans. There are some matters of warming the colour up in many areas and cooling it down in others to tie it all together. Also need to set the hovering egg down on the table. The surface quality and nature of strokes - if they can be so called - in this recent approach is still a ways off. Apart from the very red red of the pepper and the green green of the other one, I'm enjoying the pushing and pulling of neutrals but missing the thick paint somewhat. Still anxiously anticipating the next breakthrough in the elusive selectivity involved in how to have both. I guess there's no rushing experience. Could black be joining my palette soon? How very grown-up. Also coming to terms with the idea that things are looking increasingly like they want to go wet-on-dry - or at least wet-on-green 'n grippy. But this will involve having more - even many more - than one piece going at once. And I'm not so sure how I feel about this. I have enough difficulty deciding what to do next as it is without having to choose between a studio full of on-going studies for now. That said, I still need to make several more panels tomorrow and crank things up another full notch. Time to dig in for the autumn. (And there's also a pull to take advantage of some these fresh crisp clear days with some outdoor study. Time to dig out. In. Out. Layers. Black. Waning moon. Sheesh!)

Day 177

2007-09-10T21:57:00.001Z

Study: Peppers with Egg
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(In progress - detail)

The weekend tasks kept me away from the painting aspect of painting but was able to get partially back to it today. The section of the image (above) that's give me the second-most amount of trouble is the area where all items meet. I've never really been big on focal point preferring light, texture or colour to play this role. But as these are receding downstage giving way to less surface, and colour scheming - it's something to consider going forward. Especially now that it's gotten my attention and I've relayed that to the blog for my regulars to scrutinize and hold me to. But the thing that's been the biggest pain is stripping in an understudy green pepper after the other lost it structural stablility and tumbled over the others nearly clearing the deck. I'll put the last to this tomorrow and move along.

Day 176

2007-09-07T16:42:00.000Z

Study: Peppers with Egg
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(New Beginning)

When I passed by this oversized chilli yesterday afternoon it stopped me in my tracks. I only had a 20 and not the small change to pay, so the fella said to give it to him next time. That was a good sign. So today it was on the stand (with company.) In beginning these in light and dark value studies with very little colour, both the challenges and the answers provided by colour make their presence known early. In this one, the back-lit nearly kissing noses of the chilli and the egg leave little opportunities for grounding the green pepper at the rear. Highly-charged colour in my old approach would have guided the way. Now I'll be looking to be fairly selective about placement of the purer hues. Why do I never see this type of visual dilema in other painters' un-agitated realism. Hmm. Therein lies food for thought - along with one huge case of omelette on the brain. With the final bits of plastering on our recent rising damp repairs now complete, the weekend is threatening a DIY agenda. And 125-week-old Isabella is back from San Diego to mightily send my serotonin levels right on up into the stratosphere.

Day 175

2007-09-06T22:40:00.000Z

My plans for the day were sideswiped by the sudden emergence of a wall of non-painting painting stuff. I did reflect quite a bit on the recent study or two and where things are at or going. Spent some time on a sort of meditative walk - instead of cycling - to do errands and peruse fruit stands and flower stalls. Also made a list and printing notes over a pint of Lancaster Bomber bitter. Some panels to prepare before I'm back into the next study tomorrow - which I selected and started setting up this eve.

Day 174

2007-09-05T12:12:00.001Z

Study: Watermelon with Pears
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel

Things carried on nicely for a while today and then went not great. This was followed by a sort of abandon towards the home stretch. Because there were a few things about this piece I would probably do differently on another go, I was able to detach myself from the lead role in the process and see what the thing could show me for a change. This stopped me scraping and scrapping it several times until I could eventually get to a place where it felt natural to call it a study. This was affirmed by the watermelon slice having shrivelled by about a third of its original glory - parched, deeper red and not a little crispy at the edges and anywhere that came to a sharp angle or was exposed to air. Again the surface and language of it are slightly on the undernourished side. Some things never change, like knowing full well that the hotter sides of the pears never really get that hot, but despite what my eyes tell me, the music and the knife disagree. As much as I whinge about the struggles of this painting thing, the truth is, the doing of it really is quite compelling and no small privilege. Remembering the bigger picture and how much better I might get down the line - through working, reviewing and moving on - at making sublimely meaningful discoveries is what sustains me. So. Another start tomorrow. More setting up, squeezing out and basically having another go.

Day 173

2007-09-04T21:34:00.000Z

Study: Watermelon with Pears
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(In progress)

Things are finally taking a turn for the better. A fresh clear sunny day cast a lovely light over the future. After some ground-trembling insight and points for consideration from the giver who keeps on giving - I was hunted down at last by the muses who began to re-introduce me to the possibilities of warm and cool earthtones and neutral vibrance. For years now I've been reading about and looking at paintings that crackle with luminous light and never properly noticed the power of the neutrals - particularly the warmer. A new way (for me) to pump up red and orange without squeezing it out pure and costly. Earthtones (mixed not bought) in my agitated reality. Whodathunkit. Better late than never. Nothing like a breakthrough to bounce me up from the rocky bottom. Only had a few hours on it before a 3-hr seminar this evening dragged me away in the middle of a roll, but feel confident to actually wrap this up tomorrow. As yet the surface quality in terms of movement, structure and expression isn't quite what it can be, nor are the overall spatial relationships. This might take 10 or 20 of these - but not in one study(!) I don't know now what that will be like - but I'm excited about what can be gained along the way, by experiences I wouldn't have known sticking to what I thought I knew. We shall see.

Day 172

2007-09-03T21:10:00.001Z

Study: Watermelon with Pears
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(More beginnings in progress)

Just laying some colours in trying to get a feel for how to paint again. Trying to gradually work from dark and warm toward cooler light. In general the process feels more like a conscious battle to avoid any kind of techique or formula - rejecting a method - in order to see just what's possible. The drawing start on this is giving me a better foundation than the previous study - but evolving this to a believable world of colour and light is the same old riveting challenge. Someone clever once said it takes about 3 weeks to learn how to paint and a lifetime to learn how to draw. Recently this feels cruelly confusing. Looking forward to finishing this - whatever that is anymore - tomorrow. It should help to do this under similar lighting conditions as when it was started. Have big goals for the week - with an invitation to hang some pieces in an upcoming local exhibition - I can't afford another week like last one. Not if I want to have some fresh new work showing recent progress to put up.

Day 171

2007-08-31T15:05:00.001Z

Study: Watermelon with Pears
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(New Beginning)

After scraping it back to the underpainting and basically flogging a dead horse, with only intermittent glimpses of any kind of point or end, the time came to cut the last study loose. The fruits themselves have been blanched and peeled and are now downstairs simmering in a delicious sauce even as I key this. No hard feelings. On to new horizons today. [Later] So yes, the fresh air of change that's been upon us for a while has now taken - at long last - the form of a new subject. Trying to trim things back some now, towards the basics. Would be really nice to get the last paint around this by - I dunno - next Thursday?

Day 170

2007-08-29T23:38:00.001Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Going backwards)

Really wanted nothing more than to finish this today. This did not happen. What's more is that it's likely going to get another scrape, like the one it got this afternoon, tomorrow. Don't really know what's happening. Only it's change. And when there is change it feels the opposite of comfy. The green tomatos have turned orange. Hurray. The big butch one in the middle, that would roll its cigs up into its t-shirt sleeve if it had one, is wrinkling from over exposure to the heat lamp. This has become an epic struggle and there's not alot I can say about where it isn't right now. Huge apologies to the sweetest music teacher in Canada who expressed interest in possibly owning this - yesterday. I'm not above heading back to the wholefood store for ripe replacements before I have my day in the sun. Time to lay head down now though and dream of tomato avalanches and falling. Early morning appointment which means there'll be no picture burning tonight.

Day 169

2007-08-28T21:47:00.001Z

No painting occurred on Tuesday as I finished up some print-related work. Have managed to source some new fruit items to begin the next study - once I lay the tomato foray to rest, hopefully on Wednesday. Also the washing of safflower oil is coming along nicely. Another week washing with just water should get things ready for the lead carbonate and heating next week.

Day 168

2007-08-25T22:25:00.000Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(In progess)

Continuing to keep things moving here. And keeping it moving means turning most of the process on its head. One way this is going is still using alot of paint - but quite thin. Taking off as much as I put down...ish. It got pretty heavy yesterday so I tonked it off with a broadsheet of newspaper, and this was exciting enough looking to lay it down on some paper in a 1-of-1 monoprint. Just stepping out of my comfort zone has been really pretty uncomfortable so no surprise there. For my own sanity - but mindful that this is meant be work - I decided to ease back on the preciousness of it all and try to enjoy some of it. Still didn't get it today and I'm feeling that yet another new thing in all of this just might be working more indirectly using some layers. Will I leave it to dry first? Well I just don't know. No sweat. Despite a drastic change for the better on the sunshine front. Just had a tremendously insightful email from my States-side voice of reason, Mssr Spurgeon, and I just don't know where I'd be without him. Good man.

Day 167

2007-08-24T17:15:00.000Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(In progess)

The moon is growing before my eyes. My beloved and I saw a shooting star on the walk back from picking up our green Thai curry tonight. And this painting is quickly becoming a mile-marker on my long lonesome highway where southbound takes me to hell and northbound to nirvana. Perhaps a little on the dramatic side, but meteors, or whatever they are, do that to me. Earthly grounding is good for the soul. Especially when shifting to complex multiple shapes in my still life studies necessarily chucks my old system out the window. I can't get my knife around it. And my options are scant. I either evolve or severely limit my subject matter and miss out on opportunities for some dang fascinating thangs. I certainly may resort to the larger single items again, possibly later in the autumn. But where it's at right now - and not forgetting the outdoor interests - and moving into some figurative work in the winter, something's got to give. I hear lot's of interesting suggestions all the time from urging me to embrace the forbidden fruits, to loading up the brushes, to bringing some little people and animals into these edible landscapes à la Dali - of all things(!) All much appreciated but tends to confuse the venture for one of either folly or mere commerce - clashing with the agitated axiom of the day: no tearing, no gearing. I'm going to give this study another session or so of my life and then move on. It helped tremendously to shift the surrounding light and space to green instead of the colliding chromatic storm front caused by the blue. Now for some shut-eye.

Day 166

2007-08-23T22:54:00.000Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Still beginning)

Yesterday was a blackout of the soul of sorts. Today wasn't much brighter but it did involve some time at the easel. Hard time it was, but time at the easel just the same. It's so difficult when no matter how much I look, mix and lay it down - it still continues to feel like the first moments when it's mostly about orientation and thinking and never getting any closer to the elusive zone. If only one could find that get-in-the-zone elixir in a phial, it could alleviate plenty of heartache and probably not a little back pain. Nothing froths up the agitation in reality like the realisation, hours into a study, that reducing multiple subjects to any one of its many would not help in the slightest. I suppose I could just scrape it back, eat these delicious specimen and then set up and paint something I've handled better - and sold - in the past. But that would only arrest all development in the most heinous fashion. Nope. It's better to publish this record of the struggle and look forward to another day when it can only get better. It might also be handy to look back on later as an example of the how bad it can get when the gettin' ain't good. This would help to better appreciate the zone if it ever happens to hop off the back of the muse anywhere near here any time soon.

Day 165

2007-08-22T22:40:00.000Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel

A black wet day. I wasn't about to even get near it. Took care of some lingering projects I've been promising to do. There's always Thursday. As much as I hate to take that for granted, I'm feeling confident it will come - in all its black dank glory. Summer was nice in the hours it lasted. But now it seems that the funk is indeed upon us.

Day 164

2007-08-21T13:52:00.000Z

Study: Tomatos
57.5 x 35.5 cm
Oil on Linen over Panel
(Beginning)

Nocturnal activity in progress. More later...[Later] Following an intense week that culminated in a pleasantly surprised wife and thrilled buyer, took the weekend off to attend to other business and entertaining house guests. Have since managed to update the image of the wild strawberries which seems to capture it in a more representative light. Got started back at it today by beginning the experimental process of washing some safflower oil for ongoing putty permutations - under the ever-generous guidance of Tad, who's done all the hard research. Pretty exciting stuff. Sand, water, oil and salt shaken (not stirred) then left to settle and to be repeated over a few days. One objective of many in this is to come to a greater understanding of the function of oil in oil painting and not least to see if I can work out a way extend the open time for my greens and blues a little. There are also supposedly nice things like less yellowing of the paint over time and a more homogenous drying process verses the film-to-skin-to-shell drying from the outside in affair that I understand to be going on as it is. Also made use of the 1:1.6 wood panels I had cut last week and began wrapping in linen. In only the first session I'm already enjoying the best of several worlds. Rigidity, speed and the ability to put on and take back to almost white that working directly on the gessoed boards didn't offer. As much as the Wise folks try to teach us to focus on the now, which is all we've got - I am looking forward to a few things down the road. Namely that the work progresses beyond merely a more polished mechanical version of what I'm doing now, but also that the craft of it holds up to the potentially cruel conditions this big old world has to offer. And while I'm at it - I am looking forward to getting my head around this party of tomatos here hosted by the exotic and spectacular Accordian Beefsteak of likely Spanish or Tuscan origin (left over from last week's fraises sortie at the wholefood market.) Simply marvelous.

Day 163

2007-08-16T20:16:00.000Z

Study: Fraises des Bois
76 x 76 cm | Oil on Linen | Sold

Going to be a nighshift session to finish this, but it is close. After supper, I'll head into the final lap in finishing this Chardin inspired romantic allusion to a special night in a restaurant in Antibes (France) - back in 2001. More later with finished article...[Later] Well, ate and had a beer and fell asleep in the chair. When I woke up I thought I still have a couple of hours to do and the buyers are coming around 10.30am - should I sleep first and finish in the morning? To make a long blog entry short, it's now about 4am and the thing is as done as it's going to get. Very glad I managed the gumption to work through. There are parts of it I find successful, which are the areas I feel were about the handling of paint and what can happen with that art-wise. The areas where I'm just beginning to grasp the journey ahead are the areas where paint becomes secondary to image or depiction. This is a difficult thing to explain. Only to say that one feels like exaltation, the other like illustration. What sustains me is the mere possibility of increasing my experience of the former. Here's to the happy couple. (NB - Photo updated 21.08)

Day 162

2007-08-15T21:50:00.000Z

Study: Fraises des Bois
76 x 76 cm | Oil on Linen
(In progress)

A long day painting. What made it longer was the almost total scraping out and re-laying of about 80% of yesterday's paint. Premature filming-over and gritty lumps created general havoc in the early half of the session. Made a breakthrough on the medium front after picking up new materials in the morning. The freshly acquired fine marble dust in combination with much thinner oil and bigger proportion of chalk made a lively but sturdy thickener that holds a peak better and seems to somehow raise saturation without more pigment. Nice. Have decided to hold off on the image today as the buyer is chomping at the bit for a preview which I worry at this stage would serve to confuse, at best, and at worst unduly influence the decisions on the finishing. Not to mention lessen the impact - good or bad - of the actual piece on first viewing. Thursday should allow plenty of time to finally bring it all to a frenzied conclusion. Will see. What is certain though is that the pile of berries now resembles more fruit-dappled white furry meringue than just about anything else. So this means at this late hour - and at those prices - my only friend is a sketchy flickering eidetic image.

Day 161

2007-08-14T00:38:00.001Z

Study: Fraises des Bois
76 x 76 cm | Oil on Linen
(In progress)

Still working the nightshift. Off out for a walk to clear my breathing passages, go to the shop - and back to it for a bit. More later...[Later] Bending plenty of my own rules through this thing. The biggest is still having some bare canvas in areas where other areas have mountains of oozey topography. While others still, almost pure transparent medium over bare canvas. Really, I'm at the mercy of the shelf-life of these edible gems like never before. So had to go for it today or lose them forever - or worse - have to resort to photo reference which as I've said before puts me meows amongst me coos, so to speak. Not comfortbale with it. The buyer wants to see it tomorrow. I'm putting him off unless he pushes it and then, well, I might have to fire him. I'm out of chalk and my silica putty, though exciting and new, is a little lumpy making for much picking out of lumps and generally causing me grief at this scale, and on linen. So getting some of that first thing which will help me in the chromatic tug-of-war between the glass that's half empty and the one that's half full. They know who they are. Yesterday was mainly about scale and position, today about capturing a sense of les fraises in the best of their remaining life and spacial relations. Tomorrow will be about laying paint down with some intent. Putting some flicker where there's gloom and some verticality where there's leaning. But mainly rounding out the feeling of the thing with paint, intuition and verve - before the problem-solving side of this sucks the life out of this chamber of agitation that is my reality.

Day 160

2007-08-13T23:14:00.000Z

Study: Fraises des Bois
76 x 76 cm | Oil on Linen
(Beginnings)

Finally got a chance to get some paint moving based on the drawing and still life set-up from Sunday. The berry tower went up and the berry tower came down - and back and forth. Such is the agitated reality of the painter playing pastry chef. Just don't know how this is going to turn out. Pain is inevitable, but tears and shame also loom. It's a first in so many ways, but apart from that, bits of it are stretching the parameters of my indoor process, which is obviously not as stable as I thought. One of the accidental discoveries in today's session was having run out of putty and calcite, in mixing the next batch I needed something more. This meant tucking into my new sack of cristobalite (fumed silica) which made a surprisingly interesting medium. Marbley, transparent and springy. The hope is that with so many surprises and much uncertainty something may just happen that I could send me to another, positive place. This is the nature of this grueling game that one might easily confuse for leisure of a Sunday afternoon. One first action for tomorrow might just be shaping this mountain of berries back to a portion for 2 - instead of the centerpiece for some Bachanalian feast.

Day 159

2007-08-10T21:51:00.000Z

The financials and purchasing protocols went according to plan so I was able to gain possession of some of the world's most expensive wild strawberries. Won't go into the actual figures here, but will say that I kept the receipt and will be presenting it to the buyer, and look forward to getting a much needed new pair of casual shoes with the cashback. Out of stretcher frames, I had to break-down a couple of previous 18x30 duds and prepare and stretch a brand spanking new 30x30 for the commission. Also picked up 12 new panels from the lumber yard over which I'll be laying linen for the next wave of indoor and outdoor work following this week's sold work. It's likely to be a fairly intense next 4-5 days, as the buyer wants to unveil and collect on his way out of town on Friday morning. Continued with the non-painting preliminary stuff through Saturday. Then moved on to house and garden work, before hosting a dinner party in the evening. The good thing about having people over is it tends to get the grill fired up considerably earlier than the witching hour it usually is when on our own. Looking forward to Sunday's new moon. I know only lunatics and poor painters blame the moon and tools respectively - but something kooky has been keeping my muses and furies from sneakin'round my back door.

Day 158

2007-08-09T22:18:00.000Z

It's increasingly clear to me just how much being a fulltime painter can get in the way of painting fulltime. With the aforementioned commission now a live green-lighted venture, the race has been non-stop full on to physically locate actual fraises des bois. The difficulty being that these gem-like needles in the haystack of summer fruits, mostly come from France - the romantic setting this anniversary gift will be commemorating - and August is about 2 months past the season! The best news of all is that the world famous Harrods Food Hall - which claims to stock everything - has some. Now, all I have to do is get to a bank and organise the loan to be able to afford them, recreate the setting and paint like the wind before they wither to jam faster than my patron can say - we're leaving for our holiday in 7 days time, are we ready to do consummate the deal? Ah! Nothing like a grand panic in the interest of humanity and romance - to earn a crust.

Day 157

2007-08-08T23:49:00.000Z

Contemplative Miscellany
43 x 25 cm | Discarded Paint on Easel

A non-painting painting day, Wednesday was a day for rest, drying out and resting a weird back. Looked into several possibilities for a travelling protective painting cover and think I've got it cracked. As I thought about the last few outings, there's plenty to be excited about, but many mysteries yet to figure out. It's times like these that involve alot of brainless staring around the room. It was during one such gaze-athon that my eye fell upon this mini-sea of discarded texture and colour, that autonomously developes between my easel shelf and the indoor study of the day. Lumps and unwanted dribbles leave the theatre and end up here. Sometimes the biggest clues and inspiration come from the most unlikely places. Another welcome distraction came in the way of a meeting with a potential buyer to discuss a commission. All I need to do is source the specified subject matter for the set-up, get on with it and finish by the agreed time - which is scarce. It felt a little like a design brief from a former life, but assuming I can rigidly adhere to my painting ethos - whatever that is - I should be able to retain the requisite integrity to avoid sleepless nights and walks with the devil. But for Thursday still don't know what will occur: indoor, outdoor, up on the roof or further afield. Nothing like decisive action.

Day 156

2007-08-07T23:12:00.000Z

Study: Little Venice
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board

What a shame. After a reasonable conclusion to my second offical outdoor subject - smalls steps at a time here - the finished article took quite a heavy beating on the journey home. I'd realised in the nick of time that I'd committed to going to a good friend's private view in trendy Hoxton Square, in East London, the opposite direction from home. This meant schlepping all my junk and runny wet painting across town on bike in rush hour. Luckily there were no traffic incidents involved on either leg of the trip, but the heavens surely did open about 5 mins into and throughout my 45-min ride home pushing up to midnight. Very very soaked. And the painting suffered the most from road grime droplets and a generally funky flushing from all directions - from both the sky and the wheels of mine and my neighbour's tires in the torrent. This is most evident in the go-fast horizontal streaks across the small willow in the middle ground. Damage aside, the painting session on the day was the most positive in Little Venice so far - and though this begins its life in permanent private collection in this state - much was learned both from the working activity and the hellish bike trip. I'll spend some time Wednesday designing a protective covering for works in all states of life to protect them in future travels. As one can see from the top image, both the painting and the weather were on the fair side. Received my cristobalite (silica dust) to begin experimenting with in different putty mixtures that will help me to make dense glazes and move further from the edge that I've been so comfy with to date. (This is basically an attempt to try working with thick transparent layers of colour as opposed to mainly thick flat patches.) Still awaiting some safflower oil to go with this. Exciting new beginnings. But I still catch myself oggling fruit in the bins as I cycle along being choked by the strap of the easel on my back.

Day 155

2007-08-06T22:58:00.001Z

Study: Little Venice
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(scraped back to step one)

Back after the trip to Poland and wedding. Whoa. With the exception of a brutally long, exhausting and frustrating trip across arriving at 4.30am instead of 12.50am putting us at our ultimate destination around 6.30am(!) - we were delighted to have taken part in a special occasion - between 2 special people - in a magnificent location. I was only well on my way to a full recovery by the time I rolled up to my canalside spot to finish the Little Venice study. Thing is, after hours of trolling through gobs of uncertainty the only progress I felt was when after much reluctance I succumbed and began the somewhat healing removal and scraping process. So now where I am with it may seem an enormous step in the wrong direction - it's actually quite the opposite. For, every discernible blemish now before me is either a breadcrumb towards the way home or a warning sign to shield me from the dismal abysmal. I had been given some timely and astute pointers from my seasoned mentor on how to avoid this from the start, but thought I should first put myself through it to be sure. I'm going back again Tuesday to bring it back as far as possible and then move on to simpler surroundings - but still outside. The biggest achievment for Monday was painting within 24hrs of international travel. Particularly when vodka features so centrally in the customs and culture of the country visited, regardless of the occasion - it seems. Oooh-ey.

Day 154

2007-08-02T23:08:00.000Z

Study: Little Venice
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(First Session -
just the darks, mostly)

It's late I'm covered in paint and putty - just had one of our late midnight BBQs for 2. Just about everything still to do before we fly to (Wroclaw) Poland for the weekend late tomorrow afternoon. Following a day of preparation, airport parking reservations etc I got down to deciding where the paint was going to be spread around outdoors today. Eventually the rain stopped, but by this time my options were logitistically limited. Settled on one of London's quaintest hideaways in the canal junction of Little Venice near Paddington Basin - absolutely dripping with colour, light and Weeping Willows - not to mention the odd pack of adolescent mischiefmakers. Although there are plenty of cute bridges and colourful residential canal barges, I learned my lesson from the bridge on Thames and searched - not long enough given the time - for simplicity. Got set up and into it much quicker this third time in as many days. Its pretty clear that these plein air studies are a whole new thing from the controlled conditions of the studio still life. Not only in terms of subject matter and context but in the whole activity, from how to compose, isolate dynamics and the building with light. I've only ever read what it's like to chase shifting light and atmosphere and these past few days have given me a firsthand taste of that daunting but exiting task in a big way. The most screemingly salient aspect is in dealing with colour. Anything saturated or out of the tube looks and feels like alien litter. The chroma of the evening light whizzing on past is wackier than I have words to describe. One gets the feeling about every 45 - 60 seconds that the best bit is getting away until finally the only thing left to do is let go and chase it like a neophite bassist trying to keep up with Billy Cobham. It's a sense that something is happening here, I know it's spectacular, but thinking about it, mixing, deciding and acting is inhibiting. Used tons of putty (with egg yolk whipped in) and again kept the white to a mimimum. I made a good start despite abusive heckling from one passing party-barge hurling things like - get a real job, mate! and painting's for gays! But what was most obtuse was a couple of lads, obviously experiencing their first open-bar occasion, chanting nonce, nonce, nonce... from as close as 15 treacherously dangerous nautical yards of London canal water. I was so enthralled by the light I was missing I laughed and chimed in not really knowing what the term nonce meant or why it was being directed at me. Me, there innocently troweling putty from one edge of my panel to the other. I tried to pinpoint the kharmic debt but couldn't, so I guess I'm - ah - in the black at last!

Day 153

2007-08-01T20:43:00.001Z

Study: Barnes Railway Bridge
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Linen over Board
(In Progress until potentially scrapped)

The tide had changed today both figuratively and literally. As I anxiously cycled along towards my spot on the river I was twice confronted with 10-12in flooding on the Chiswick Mall where the river had breached the banks as is common during heavy rain and very high tides. But I was able to navigate my rig up onto the sidewalk to get past the deepest parts. Once on site the place I stood yesterday was drenched where the tide had just begun its desperately anticipated ebb. After things were set up - further back - I had a much cleaner water line, as well as a better look at the bridge. Struggled wildly to get some of the drawing problems resolved - a no no of the craft - but in the end was just laying heaps of gooey paint down and wondering with each squessze whether it was a waste because of how quickly it was all slipping away. My self-diagnosed ADHD was not helped by the busy evening of rower's foot traffic that seemed incessantly to be putting in or taking out and passing within feet of me constantly, from the rowing club boathouse behind. This coupled with the stark realisation that I'd bitten off more than my knife could delineate in the stitched girders of Victorian steel before me, made for a fairly dishearteningly challenging affair. I know too well that they don't all have to be keepers but my goodness. At least I now know that I probably need to spend about twice as much time choosing my spot as working. I couldn't help thinking how much anguish the Cape May weather spared me weeks ago in not being able to tackle Roseman's Marina as planned. Phew! The bridge will likely be left to settle down some for now. Next day out I'm looking for Rothko-ian horizons, open spaces and big patches of sky. Maybe one of the good Queen's parks.

Day 152

2007-07-31T23:24:00.001Z

Study: Barnes Railway Bridge
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Linen over Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

Spent lots of time today researching the elements of a possible new formula for working more indirectly. Up to now it's been about being inside the studio. The approach and focus has largely been on the direct observation of single or uncomplicated arrangements of edible, colourful objects and exploring how our joint realities overlapped in fat mountainous colour, shape and texture. Not to say that all of this is now finished, but there are a number of aspects of exploring my surroundings that the studio environment - and 'simple' shapes of colour and texture - don't cover. And at this early part of a hopefully lifelong development I feel now is far too early to decide what the rest of my work will focus on. Luckily for me, Tad Spurgeon has gone to considerable lengths to get to the bottom of some of the mysteries of painting from centuries ago when it and religion were the only games in town. And why such curious and mesmerising stuff has lasted so long without losing it's spell-binding allure as craft, message and magic. He's been an invaluable source of information on ways of keeping the learning and living of it, as a process, alive. But mostly he's generously imparted the fruits of his near obsessive investigations as insight to help take me completely out of my currently comfortable confines and see where me, my knife, pigments - and some agitation - can take me. My vision is of transluscent overlapping mountains of coloured terrain. The materials of this will be covered more later. Today I got back on the outdoor horse and, after much deliberation, loaded up my trusty steed of a mountain bike and headed for the River Thames for the final 4 hours of light. And. It was like awkward as hell. But positive. First run involved mostly putty medium with some egg(!) and absolutely no white paint. Now, that's right out there with the dragons - where security is a nasty word.

Day 151

2007-07-30T23:16:00.001Z

Study: Lemon | 46 x 46 cm
Oil on Linen

It's not like I've got hairier knuckles this evening than yesterday evening but I sure am twitchy. Did put a little extra work in on the chicken bones at dinner - and this lemon started breathing at me here in the wee small hours. All under the beam of tonight's full moon. So now I surely am experienced, I suppose. Decided to wrap it up on the subjects last inhale. My little way of having the last say in this little tiff between myself and my yellow little night - (and day) companion here. Not thrilled with the way this photograph isn't picking up the purples as usual but it will just have to do for now. While mentioning things less than thrilled with - and only a poor painter blames his supplies - a particular tub of Utrecht white I procurred from a certain painter (you know who you are) left alot to be desired in comparison to the variations of Michael Harding and L. Cornellison's I've tangoed with of late. Really disappointed with both the tinting capability and the amount of drier therein. No matter how much stand oil or putty was whipped into it, within 24hrs the results were lumpy and immoveable. But just to be fair, I'll try at least once some other time when there's not a whirring industrial de-humidifier on flood repair duty all hours of the day only a floor away. That said Harding's gear held up under the Arizona desert conditions just fine. So, anyway, though the lemon (impervious itself to industrial drying devices I might add) did kick my butt. Did learn lots along the way. Such as, while in art school, one strives to grasp ways of manipulating the plastic elements of tone, light and colour temperature - uh - for a reason. Violet and pink are the best ways to turn yellow away from the eye, green will lead to wrist-slicing and sunglasses will keep a lemon from seeing the fear and desperation in the eyes. What's on for tomorrow? If I don't disect this 200gm monster I don't know what I'll do.

Day 150

2007-07-29T22:11:00.000Z

Study: Lemon | 46 x 46 cm
Oil on Linen
(Restarted - In progress)

Everything's a little in the air at the moment. Back is not cooperating. Toiled a few more hours on this lemon study again today after scraping plenty of last sessions paint out. For some reason that I can't quite understand, there is far too much about this form I struggle to handle on the paint's terms. But those are the rules of this wicked game and it's not over yet. Alla prima or not, this might take 2 more hours or 2 more weeks, but by the time I call it a day on this, I will feel experienced - and on more than Hendrixian levels. I must. One thing I do know now - that I wish I'd known 2 days ago (or even 3 lemon studies ago) - is that gobs of lemon yellow does not an agitatedly real lemon make. In fact, it's not altogether clear to me how that pigment got it's name. Oh how spooky is the power of lemon.

Day149

2007-07-27T19:05:00.000Z

Study: Lemon | 46 x 46 cm
Oil on Linen
(In progress)

Friday was a bit of a strange day. The weather I've now accepted is not going to do much for the studies or the spirits. However it's not as bad as it's been. We had to hire a de-humidifier to dry out the living room wall downstairs that got saturated through the bricks in a recent deluge. The machine - in a day - has yielded nothing short of astonishing results. A real Modern wonder. Had to do a couple of other tasks like mentioned the other day. Managed to begin thinking about a design for my eventual website, to complement Agitated Realism. I get lots of folks suggesting I do things here - like they see on websites - so instead of repeatedly explaining the difference between that and a blog, it would be better to just link one to the other. Later I stretched some linen and began the strange journey of trying to visually understand another lemon. This will be my fourth shot in the last year and I'm really expecting to have a little more success each time. I find this subject a powerful enigma of a fruit. A humble form, with the very power of the Sun itself in it's colour - the lemon is one of the true over-achievers of the fruit world. Its reputation precedes it. Will I be able to learn the secret to the lemon's very special rules with regard to light and shadow?

Day 148

2007-07-26T21:40:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Lime
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board

What I forgot to mention yesterday is that after dark here in the high latitudes of the northern hemisphere doesn't actually count photographically until about 10.15pm - when most of the blue leaves the sky and enters the hearts (of some). And this is just as well. For just when we think we've got a good handle on something, it then decides to show us its horns. Had to lay an unexpected amount of paint into this fair citron today as the daylight revealed the years of growth before me and the scant seconds of luster left in our subject. My old über-saturated friend - phthalocyanine green - came to the rescue as a means of breaking up the greens and also providing some rich neutrals to lift the black smile of a silhouette that was perched across the middle of the format in the middle of the night awaiting a cow to jump over it. Overall it's still a fairly visceral account of the past couple of days with this exciting newcomer, the lime slice. They will certainly be back, but this had to come to a sane conclusion today. Quite a bit was learned in the process and within the limited envelope of orange and green that will come along through many more. The newly found newness in the process itself is positve as well. Some of the old things I did by default or device before, are now being challenged, particularly in navigable passages of broken colour. They're less ready for grouting now than they used to be and I'm not sure whether I'll lose the heretofore everpresent edges, but will surely find out soon. Could this mean a more indirect, transparent system - brushes even? Let's just grab the reigns here for a second - Geez! [NB - This blurred image will be replaced later]

Day 147

2007-07-25T21:50:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Lime
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Very very nearly)

Finishing up...really this time. [Later] Well, not quite. I pushed it until the yawns were so wide my eyes were stretching horizontally and tearing up, but only got real real close to calling it done. The real ground was covered between about 11.30 and 1.45am, but then the flickering began and I was wiping and chucking mini-rags in the bin faster than I was gaining ground on the study. I'll need to see this in the morning light and make some definite decisions. Light is nice in areas and too abstract in others, calling attention to the handling which can be distracting. Breaking some colour will give it more richness as will one last good look at just how much silhoutting of the rind is really required in this agitated world. For tonight, it's taking its place on the bottom shelf of the fridge to slow drying and preserve surface movement for the last go at it. The finished study will be posted after it gets dark enough outside to photograph - keeping consistent with all else posted so far. I'm working some awfully strange hours at present and need to put this right before zombification sets in. And I need that like a head in the hole.

Day 146

2007-07-24T22:10:00.001Z

Study: Nocturnal Lime
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Slinging in progress)

Nightshift...[Later] The nightshift never really happened the way I wanted. It wasn't cloudy and there was no Mojito mayhem, but I was diverted from the painting by some refurb snagging duties relating to another side of life here of which I am a non-excutive direct benficiary. So in other words, when my beloved (or one of her clients past or present) beckons, the wise response is: how high does this beckoning require me to jump? Afterwards we sat out in the sun and counted the things to be grateful for - came home and did rather a little more of the same. The work shown here is actually what I'll call an early sling on Wednesday. As I'm desperately trying to nestle back into to my pre-trip ways, I'm realising that this all is feeling more new than familiar. My very good friend, who's more Pentagon than artsy-fartsy, after first conceding that he knows poop from pinot about art asked me: Mike, how come your pictures start out smooth and end up really bumpy? I initially hadn't the foggiest notion of what to tell him that didn't sound like ethereal arts speak. I think I tried to say the early bit is the reconnaissance part of the attack and the rest was hopefully like poetic post-battle carnage. Anyway, as I get re-acquainted with what I thought was my process, I come back to his question. And I wonder why it's taking so long to fire the first shots. I'm coming around to the idea that not knowing how to get it going is what's going to be my friend in the long run. Thus keeping my senses as sharp as the ever-changing enemy that Fox News trades on telling us is as perennial as evil.

Day 145

2007-07-23T22:38:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Lime
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

After ordering more supplies today under a cover of darkness the likes of which we haven't seen around here since, well, yesterday and the day before - I headed up the road to see what was on offer. I saw many old friends in the bins; some lemons, oranges, pears, plums, melons and so on, but then my my eyes fell upon the largest genetically-engineered limes this side of the Mississippi. I kept on walking, though, all the way to the furthest stand and even stopped in on my boys at the Lebanese patisserie. Although the sweets were looking sweet, I didn't see anything I felt confident would make the stormy journey back in tact. So, I ended up stopping at the first place where I'd seen those big Persian limes and snagged a couple. Once home with the rain swabbed from my grill, I commenced to slicing one up. Now, I don't know what it is about the evincing aroma of limes that registers like the ringa-ding-ding of happy hour but the scent immediately cheered me up. Come to think of it - if this rain and darkness persists tomorrow - I might have to break out the rum and mint and get myself knee-deep in a fit of Mojito madness. Anyway, once I got a slice or 2 on the still life stand I found that despite their relative mass they were still relatively smaller and further away than most subjects. This led to a pattern of arranging, painting and wiping clean that went on for some time before I settled on this, which puts the thing close enough that it's almost blurry but not so far away the fragrance can't show me the way around it. The light glowing through it is just lip-smacking gorgeous. I'm looking forward to the challenge of keeping this one short, sweet, simple and alive. And if this doesn't go the way I want soon enough - or I can't see my shadow for the weather - then these subjects are getting chopped, iced, minted, rummed, garnished and quaffed - quick like.

Day 144

2007-07-21T21:23:00.000Z

Study: Cantaloupe
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board

More Later...[Later] What a long day. Early start with the plasterer arriving first thing. Was able to eventually put the final efforts into this study to get the old ball rolling. Feels great to be back at it again after such a ong time off. The big struggle however - and as usual - is the line between painting and rendering. Looking enough to see the form and light while having to look past the quagmired squigglies on the surface that distinguish the (unopened) cantaloupe. As I endeavoured to focus on the inner flesh of this subject, the rendering thing came up again at the seedy core. With ideally only one shot at applying the paint to keep it alive and fresh, I verily skirted the edges of rendering, impressionism and pretension. But I'm not too upset with the outcome, but another 40-50 studies down the line and I might be able to sign one of these. No painting tomorrow, but back to it Monday with some lofty goals for the week.

Day 143

2007-07-20T22:47:00.001Z

Study: Cantaloupe
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

More Later...[Later] The day started with the screeming drills and pounding of walls - noise from the workmen brought in to repair the moistures damage we suffered downstairs in our absence and also to deal with a minor rising damp issue that's rather common in these old Victorian terraced houses in London. The racket made for a later start than anticipated, but was able to get on with some other domestic and non-painting painting tasks. Once I got to painting - squeezing out the fat and wonder, looking, mixing and troweling it down - it soon felt like I was doing this only yesterday. With the subject dehydrating faster than is helpful, I'm confronted with the familiar challenge of knocking this off today based on remembered observations as much as the looking at the sinking mass before me. One upside to this is that the less water in the melon the deeper the colour. This variety of cantaloupe is likely Spanish and more the size of very big grapefruit than the normal volleyball size. And this might be accelerating the process even more. But after the first hour into the final session, the battle will be more between the colour that urges me than the parched one before me.

Day 142 (Praise be to Yahweh)

2007-07-19T22:48:00.001Z

Study: Cantaloupe
57 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

Well, Well, Well. Although I have taken longer lapses and there's plenty of self-loathing, self-reproachment and obscured direction to last months - I finally found the gumption to present myself before the easel today. I won't make tired stereotypical claims of having some sort of painter's block or howl about departed muses. No. Just lost my step in the parade of shame that is part of my agitated reality following my downer of a re-entry last week. It's been no less than about 672 hours since the Delaware Bay outdoor fiasco and I just couldn't stand another morning wondering if it was going to be different today. There are diversions and there are diversions. And then there are derailments. No easy way to explain it. I could describe it but it's all been said before. And I don't really care, as long as it doesn't kill me. Because one is only as good as one's last study. So that gackathon I experienced on the bay those weeks back (since trashed) was good for something. I'm still awaiting an internal verdict on whether the outdoor venture is realistically going to be part of my working repertoire. Meantime, I picked up 12 more panels from the lads around the corner to go along with another 245 square feet of linen and and a bucket of gesso on the way. This will get me stuck into some indoor studies for the next couple of weeks before we go away - briefly - again. Today's subject is one recommended to me by my dear Daddy-O weeks ago as he tried to console me about the weather and general unhelpful painting conditions across the pond. As good as it is to be back on the horse, the real rewards will come tomorrow when the colour gets squeezed out. I should also begin feeling decreasingly jet-lagged with the help of a melatonin supplement before I lay me down.

Day 141

2007-06-23T16:31:00.000Z

Outdoor Study:
Delaware Bay, Cape May
56 x 36 cm | Oil on Linen
(Started - then scraped
and scrapped)

Okay. It has taken quite some time getting back to the blog and some painting. But I was expecting to be run off my feet for much of this Stateside visit. My beloved and I had a whale of a trip across via Montreal. From there, we've been to Doylestown (Pa) then flew down to NC for my niece's graduation and then back up to Cape May (NJ) where we've set up base for the last 2-week-and-a-bit stretch. One of the highlights of last week was a swift run up to West Chester to visit with the venerable David Oleski to see in person what I've read and heard so much about heretofore. Many lovely (and enormous) apple and tulip paintings to behold as well as what can only be described as an enchanting painter's abode on the hill over the lake. We did pick up where we left off in London with several rounds of Guiness punctuated by countless cuddly moments with gorgeous Frank the dog and some scrumptious Thai shrimp to die for. Inspiring it was to see firsthand just how far the universe will go in conspiring to help the earnest and worthy actualise a life dedicated to making it all happen. Cheers David Oleski! Having procurred some tools of the trade and the necessary extras, I finally did make my way to the nearby Delaware Bay this morning to try my hand plein air easel painting. It'll be enough to say that despite my misgivings on the morning - relentlessly squawking birds, wind and curious passersby and a general mess 0n easel - it was tremendous to just wield the knife again after such a long lapse. Agitating as it was, and as far removed as could be from the routine and discomforts of my London hovel - I'm looking forward to several more outings over the coming weeks. Possibly as early as Monday. Image to follow once I get the software side of it sorted.

Day 140

2007-06-09T22:14:00.001Z

Well. It looks like that's it until I touch down and get through the first wave of visiting and reuniting with loved ones. Also looks like I'm going to have to buy paint over there to use over there because, there's too much red tape or risk in bringing my own - which are too big volume-wise and too heavy (baggage limit wise) to bring along. Getting the paintings checked and safely reclaimed will be challenging enough. Exciting possibilites lie ahead, despite a little intinerant uncertainty from the getting time at the easel point of view.

Day 139

2007-06-08T23:19:00.000Z

Nowhere near the easel again today. Struggling to keep my head above water. Some steep unanticipated learning curves on the framing (product) delivery front. And as for painting while away, still not certain how to prepare or what to take (of what I can take with security still as it is.) - or how. And generally feeling like it's all slipping away for a month. Tomorrow's the last day and there's still everything to do and a shortened day to do it all. On the positive side of things. Sold another painting today. Met with some gallery personnel to discuss late September exhibition And then had chance meeting with a close contact (my beloved's brother) who might get me some prime exhibition space in town - for free. And located yet another fantastic branch of my favourite art suppliers who were more than happy and had the contacts to get my hands on the only two 225ml tubes of Michael Harding Brilliant Pink to leave the warehouse in months(!) But. Still. Nowhere near the easel again - and it's receding into the distance as I type...

Day 138

2007-06-07T21:47:00.000Z

Continued probs with computer. Sorting out loads of domestic stuff and plenty of non-painting painting activity. Assembling frames, sourcing materials and preparing grounds to take on the road. Went and collected the new subject for next study which I'm now running out of time to do - not only tonight but in the remaining days too. I've not given up on it yet. See how things go later - and I might at least make a late-night start on another nocturnal pastrie...

Day 137

2007-06-06T22:49:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Tart I
56 x 36 cm | Oil on Board

It's the middle of the night. I'm nearly finished with the study, but I've been re-installing and repairing my machine in between layers and applications. What a day. The monitor drivers or something got corrupted and the screen began flickering right in the middle of some expert insight I was getting - by email exchange - from Tad whose helping me to get ready to paint outdoors whilst in the States. Anyway I'm going to finish the painting and post the image quite soon...[Later] Early hours now. Exhausted - but also thrilled to have been able to both execute the (not quite comfortable with the word) finish on this but see it through - and fix my machine so I can snap, crop and publish it as planned. The painting required more pernickety observation than I've done in a while. Probably mostly to do with the number of things in this compared to the usual. This somehow also meant it was as much an exercise in simplification as well as invention. Didn't get away with no farkles (highlights) but also came nowhere near the dreaded temptation of the retouched product shot look. As excited as I am about the trip, it's coming at an inopportune moment, as things are heating up on the paint handling habit front in this wave before the moon wanes to nothing and swats it all down for a few weeks. My outdoor portable easel came today - potentially for seascapes in Cape May. As did the oak frames for the sold paintings I'm travelling with and parting with here before I go. Claire at Jackson's Art is a true gem.

Day 136

2007-06-05T22:54:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Tart I
56 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Nearly)

Really thought I'd be able to put the final swathes to this tonight but it wasn't to happen. I'm realising the difference between moving paint to move on - and moving paint until it doesn't need it anymore. And when it gets late and fatigue sets in - or even when it's early and fatigue sets in - moving it is a bad idea and keeps me back. I'm learning more about cutting colour - and white - even more with the putty. It gives me more range and looseness and if I'm lucky, the gooiness will nearly obviate the farkley highlights this fatigued painter might be tempted to think he needs to convey the wet slippery sugar on them there mounds of sin. The things that trapse through the mind as I massage away at this subject - the plate, the vantage point is somewhere up a tree in the desert - and the lamp appears to be making the tart's coating just drip like it's basking in the sun on a shoot for a calendar. Instead of thinking about Thiebaud and Morandi (thanks to Tad) - I'm thinking more about Close Encounters of the Third Kind and how when I finish, I'd love to see this mother lift and invert with rods of glowing syrup spearing downward and - swoosh - it's outa here! The other thing I thought about in the latter hours was an encouraging and informative email from an artist colleague in KC, Missouri who introduced me to the truly amazing Albert York. And how when he was encouraged to do like his teachers and fellow pupils of the Abstract Expressionist movement, he just paid little mind and carried on trying it another way of his own. This is not why my scrumptious treat has so much unsavoury neutral green in it at present. That is where the process has landed me. And hopefully the refrigerator will give me a few more hours to find the final fat, saturated pigments to bring it back to its proper and intended fruity glory. And before I forget. My dear sister, Casey, who has tart-like flashes of brilliance herself, felt left out of my anticipated party plans in the coming trip from the previous posting. So this session gets dedicated to you girl - smooch! Anyone else?

Day 135

2007-06-04T23:44:00.000Z

Study: Nocturnal Tart I
56 x 36 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

After a very delightful weekend of barbeques - I'm back to it now with a new direction in subject matter. Still keeping with the fruit, I'm thinking of venturing into unknown territory with some sweet pastries. This tart wasn't a conscious decision, I went down the road with a slice of gateau or cheescake in mind, but saw this beaut of a sample of old friends. Something of a reunion of recent subjects in another applied state if you will. Apart from the apricot (clearly present in the front right,) the strawberries, kiwis, pineapples - or maybe pears - serve as a fair representation of recent solo appearances. Most of the hour I had on this was spent getting the plate to both occupy and provide a believable plane upon which to rest this sharp diva for the scrutinous toil of the next day or two. I did think at one point - maybe should have done a study of this plate first on its own, but this seemed too far a jump to the very still end of still life study. Nothing against my previous fresh(ish) fruit, but one thing I must mention is this subject does induce some lip-smacking like we haven't had in the hovel side of the house since...I don't know... probably when I had that martini glass up here in February. We're not even into the mixing of paint yet and there's already been the odd spiking of saliva on the palette. The challenge will be steep. With the plate, the small fruit, the obfuscating sugar glaze (slurp) and the shelf-life to consider - to name the most immediate of many considerations - I should have pulled the remaining dozen hairs from my crown by this time tomorrow night. Also it's a multi-tasking week as my beloved and I excitedly make ready for our trip to the States this weekend to see my fabulous family. There's packing, floor varnishing, a new washing machine to be dealt with - the laundry, gardening, and several sold paintings for folks here and some coming on plane with me to be framed and pad-boxed before Saturday ends. And I still haven't got my plan for keeping this all relatively alive while I'm away in between fishing time, marina time, visiting time, much eating time and the odd bit of fishing time and party time with my buddy, Daddy-O, and my other other buddy, my brother Buddy.

Day 132

2007-06-01T22:54:00.001Z

Study: Watermelon | 56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

Had an unuxpected lapse from the easel yesterday. The plan was to meet 3 other artists an check out the Euan Uglow exhibit at the Marlborough Gallery - and then get back in time in the afternoon to finish the watermelon. We decided to have a quick pint (or two) afterwards which turned into another couple, and I felt it best to focus on the good time I had with the delightful trio of Colin, Teresa and Deena - who's new to London and looking for kindred spirits to share her great enthusiasm for all things aesthetic. The only thing better than making new art friends - who are experts in the printing of art - is meeting the ones who are palsie with the likes of the one and only Wayne Thiebaud. During our gallery visit upon seeing some fascinating dessert subjects (in a catalogue of Uglow's from another show) I came to the decision to explore the possibilities in the subject. Nothing could be more ridiculous than aligning myself with Uglow and Thiebaud - but now that I've mentioned it, these servers will remember the pseudo-connection for aeons, and that's just something I suppose I'll just have to live with. Onto this study. Of course, by the time I got the knife in my hand, the melon had begun the shape-shifting dehydration process. Fortunately I'd gotten enough info to avoid re-starting - and with the help of a freshly sliced understudy from the fridge - was able to key the colours I didn't have. There are always things good and bad, but the big upside to this study was the firsthand experience of the difference in temperature between green and blue. The latter, being much cooler, sucked the heat out of the melon - while the green does a better job of charging up the warmth and chroma of the red and pinks. This in turn seems to warm up all of the space, much better than merely breaking the blue up to activate passages. The other bit of fun is the variety I'm getting on the surface with the leaner paint textures contrasting with the treacle-like runny quality of the more putty-injected paint. One of the things I had in mind when deciding on the watermelon was the lovely black seeds that radiate around its core. But in this one, being a Spanish variety, they are smaller and younger(?) so the seeds are creamier in colour - so they didn't make the cut. I'll be looking forward to getting them in the mix as summmer progresses and the price of melons begins its long-anticipated descent. Finally took down, repaired and shortened the pendant on my overhead steel hog light which has been devilishly cooking the grill of my forehead more and more lately as the outside temperatures pick up. This helps me to stabilise my own hydration - and shape-shifting - and makes working more comfortable too.

Day 130

2007-05-30T23:55:00.000Z

Study: Watermelon
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

New painting underway. More later...[Later] Was able to carry on until late, but then had to give in to fatigue in for tonight. Things were quite often going uncomfortably well for most of today and I thought I might finish it in one session. But as time went on, the lower back started twitching, the music started skipping and things started to head south. I could always blame the moon, but it's supposed to help me when nearly full - so I can't really complain about the good times it gave me today. I'll definitely finish this tomorrow. That is, once I'm able to see or decide (whichever) what cool neutral colour it is I'm supposed to be seeing that will raise my warm highs to where they need to be. The luminance is coming but it will be there if I can resolve this. But now - pain killer, pillow and have then have another peek.

Day 129

2007-05-29T22:09:00.001Z

Study: Tangerine II
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen

The bank holiday weekend has come to pass - as has the tumultuous multi-session peeled tangerine challenge. Hopefully it wasn't a self-fulfilling prophesy when I said the other day I might be in for a licking, but I really had no idea just how much of one I was in for. To be fair, I did leave it for a whole day to gum up and get sticky so I could come to the light some. But still, I should know better than to try to manage paint within such an agitated context. As is a tertiary objective, I was able to eat the thing. So dry, until the chomp through the leathery paper skin encapsulating the juicy pulp. Now that the study's behind me it will be put upstairs in the drying room (facing the wall) so that the many lessons learned can emerge as and when my muse allocates. There's much to be excited about - as it is - and along the way, but alas still others that did wake me in the night. One particularly awkward moment was when I was but a few trowel loads from unclamping it. What IS that? A fly caught up in the viscous dunes of teal beside the left half of fruit. And when I tried to lift it out with the bow end of the knife - away it came - along with a draping curtain of filmy putty. Lovely. So had to graft that out and remix and lay back in a few times once I got the lumps out. A total hoot. (Note Bene: Ordinarily - every care is taken to ensure that no fruit or animals are harmed in the making of these paintings.) So, a moment of silence was observed. This coincided with the stony silence and exhaustion that followed a feverish cussing and screaming frenzy that ran its natural course. I've prepared the ground for tomorrow's study, sliced and arranged the subject and lighting on the stand. But then thought better of it and decided to put it in an airtight container in the fridge to keep for tomorrow. I've had about enough trouble with prematurely drying fruit for a while.

Day 127

2007-05-26T21:29:00.000Z

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(Nearly...)

The night shift is back in session. More later...[Later - don't know what day it is] This is a bad, overly blue photo of this enormously challenging marathon, but this is where it is. Nearly there. Little more time Sunday eve.

Day 126

2007-05-26T00:03:00.001Z

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(In progress)

The night shift is still in session. Back now after a fine evening at friends for dinner. We'll see...more later. [Later] Just realised I missed the 1am deadline so this actually turns up as a post begun on Friday. Anyway. There is a butt-kicking going on here for sure. And only thing worse than one of those is when it happens a long way from yo Mammy. And this one's happening out over treacherous uncharted waters with nary a compass or icepack in sight. The image posted represents the trauma's of Friday's nightshift and Saturday's dayshift up until a break for change of music programming, hot tea and mixing up another batch of chalk and stand oil (putty). The previous lot is getting a little inhibitively chunky around the walls of the container making for far too much nosing out of dingleberries from the smoothness if that makes any sense. As smoothness might appear hard to find. I also needed to grab this image in conjunction with the previous as roadmaps to what this fruit orignally looked like because it now has dried and toppled looking many years older than the fresh and wholesome few weeks it indeed is. I can still observe and seek colour in the highs, lows, pith and shadows - so it's technically still a study from life but it's safe to say we are pushing it on many fronts here in rainy west London tonight. I'm re-e-e-eally hoping to tie this monster down for good over the nightshift, after something to eat, but the only thing working for me right now is the thrill of the agony and the victory within defeat, that comes from swinging away at it.

Day 124 -125

2007-05-24T22:08:00.000Z

Study: Tangerine
76 x 46 cm | Oil on Linen
(Beginning oil sketch)

It's been a pretty frantic few days, with not a great deal to show for it by way of works in progress but did manage to get the remainder of some 25 pieces in a presentable state for mid-day Wednesday. This was when we were visited by 4 terribly charming and interesting people from Bainbridge Island, WA (US). They took time from their busy touring of London's finest sights and restaurants to venture out to Shepherd's Bush to spend a few hours with us and to see some paintings. We were blessed with the finest weather of the year so far which made for a perfect opportunity to hang out in our little patio garden. There really is nothing finer than making new friends - especially ones so genuinely responsive to the work. I also couldn't be more delighted to prepare the mangos and kiwis (days 104 & 111) for emmigration to their new home with these nice folk's in the Pacific Northwest. A little sad to see them go, but there's a chance to visit sometime down the road. No champagne in the sun today. Was battling an improbably non-drink related neck/headache that felt more like the post-dive press than the sulphite slam. However I was eventually able to get back to it. The cantaloupe to which I had pinned my hopes turned out to have a pale green inside as opposed to glissening orange - so this is going the way of fruit salad. Once I got the linen stretched, and checked around the markets, I settled on this partly peeled tangerine. I'm about 90 minutes into it and despite the luminance I'm seeing in the shadow areas - the pith and the smaller scale within larger format is already sounding off some alarm bells. This is both in terms of getting my knife around endless nooks, and in getting off-course with the rendering temptation again. I'm going to sleep on it - figuratively - and look again tomorrow before committing any fat pigment from the trowel. It might do me some good though to take a beating from this - to shake me awake from the dopamines that saturate the ego following the sale of a couple of paintings.

Day 123

2007-05-22T23:29:00.001Z

So tired. Have been flat out on a multiude of non-painting painting tasks. Have some lovely folks from the West Coast (US) coming for a visit tomorrow while in town - and to have a look behind the scene into my agitated reality. Had to make some work presentable since they've come all this way. The forecast looks devine so we're looking forward to post-perusial drinks on the patio. Ah! Early special-occasion drinks in the sunshine - one of the perks of the trade, I guess. The easel beckons too, but we've been though this before. It's learning to trust me. Sleeptime now.

Day 122

2007-05-21T23:40:00.001Z

Study:
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(New beginning)

The night shift is in full swing - and I think the batteries on this eyboard are dying. Up late doing some long-anticipated framing after the delivery early this evening as promised. How I love discovering a professional, helpful and reliable supplier. Truly and sadly a rare thing in our crazy world - but this makes the gems shine that much brighter. I have new fruit to do but don't know if I'll get to it tonight as it's after midnight already - and it wasn't even a BBQ night.

Day 119

2007-05-18T22:04:00.001Z

Study: Nocturnal Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

Things didn't quite go as I thought today and this evening but I did finish the study. Not before the daily lavish lunch of sardines on Swedish crisp rolls - as expected - but eventually. The difficulty I found with this was once I'd found the luminance I was seeking in the deep hot rouge of the flesh - a real joy - the rest seemd to be keeping me from getting on with the next one. But then a tweak of saturation here and a softening of contrast there and I found other things to get re-excited about. One being that the squishy goodness of my medium can be not only sort of fleshy itself - depending on how you slice it - but is a downright joy and priveledge to spend time with. It's remembering to stack these cairns, as I go along, that helps me remember my way. Tomorrow, after a domestic upholstery project that's months overdue, I'm going to un-stretch some old acrylic s-duddies and restretch some new linen. Out with the duds and in with the goods. It will be nice to try it with a bit of bounce again - now that it's been a long run on the rigid panels. I'm hugely anticipating the delivery of some 25 custom-guillotined oak and beech frames on Monday which will give this particular passage of my earthly tenure so much more definition, I hope. I'm now resolving some niggling and subtle elements of my process in recent weeks which makes me optimistic about not only the struggles but the rewards ahead.

Day 118

2007-05-17T22:54:00.000Z

Study: Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Nearly there)

Nocturnal work on the grapefuit is still in progress - really pushing to finish before sleep. But right now have to break to get the grill fired up to cook dinner. Don't want to leave it too late or the neighbours will think I'm mad if I'm out there much later than the usual 11pm...[Later] I lost track of time and would have carried on until either myself or the subjects dried out, shriveled up and rolled-over if I hadn't fallen asleep face down in the palette. No, I jest. But I did catch myself in the big mirror behind me in one of my looks back to see it from that magic perspectve and instead saw the frightful face of a zombie. This was when I realised the hour and suspected I was probably just slinging paint around just to finish so to start another tomorrow. No mas. Not to be. But come sardine-on-crackers time tomorrow, this will be but a distant memory, as I peruse the rapidly plummeting price of melons.

Day 117

2007-05-16T23:11:00.000Z

Study: Grapefruit
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning oil sketch)

Nocturnal works in progress. More soon.[Later] Back now after a birthday call to my dear sis and then another bit of ragging these quarter-subjects into the space. Not much time at the easel today as I'm still sourcing some materials and supplies for those aspects of this living process that I put off. It's always good cutting the new fruit and seeing how I can get the most colour out of it and what sorts of colours behind will help to achieve that. For the last couple of studies, I've been setting things down on a semi-reflective white box lid. This does bring lots of rich light up from below and creates a bit of dramatic backlighting - and though the mirroring in the foreground is discernable, it's not worth trying to articulate in this realm of the agitated. As much as the construction, perspective and format are more the plastics of landscape - this is still still life. Not a scene as such, but a sort of 3-way discoursive process involving me, me, my demons and my citrus subjects serving as facilitators or moderators. At least this is what we were all discussing as I took the long way home in the walk back from the art store today. So compelling was it at one point that I do believe I received a concurring wink from over the edge of a horizontal can of strong cider, from a well intoxicated fellow ranter on the green. I look forward to this new moon - and tomorrow - when we all quiet down and it's time to squeeze out a few piles of paint and putty and commence my chromatic mudslide.

Day 116

2007-05-15T23:50:00.001Z

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

The sun has been hiding for days and I've just been advised that the unsettled feeling that's hanging over all enthusiasm might be down to the moon. As much as I'm keen to welcome the explanation, it seems I only wrote a week or two ago how the full moon was making a loopster of me. So it seems I'm on a fortnightly cycle - then - well synched up with my sista, Luna - who's going to pull the same naughty tricks at the end of each wane as well(!) I haven't had a battle like this since like, uh, the last study, but at least I feel positive that even with the moon working against me I was still able to get in front of the easel and record the moment(s) - and learn from it. The one thing that keeps on occurring to me as I finish one is a sense of optimism and excitement about the next one. As long as this keeps happening, I might just be able to survive this thing out through the diapers and into the urn. Colour. What a tormenting blessing. The fact that it's all right there just waiting to be observed and mixed, for any occasion or subject with only about a squillion possibilities and things to be taken into consideration. Not least of which is the colour right next to whatever one happened to grab your fancy or suit your mistaken understanding. As I go along there are a about a dozen little pockets of the spectrum that seem to show up recurringly that I'm learning to say no to. If I can just eliminate these then, at least I'll be through that stage of this journey synonomous with tying the white belt of a gi before my first karate lesson in the long road to attaining the black one. Progress. The big news of the day was that I've got some hot leads on some quality framing that will spare me time, embarrassment and loss of money in wrapping the best of what I have in oak myself.

Day 115

2007-05-14T23:38:00.000Z

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Finished soon)

Still working...More later...[Later] Really don't know what is going on with the BT servers or Blogger, but after trying for 2 hours well into the wee hours I had to give in. It could also be something here, but 4am was no time to be troubleshooting my router. So on to the study. After taking the weekend off following a shaky reunion with the easel last week, I was really hoping things might come to me a little easier with fresh eyes. I don't know if it's to do with the late start - having spent most of the day either in traffic on the way to or from the framing suppliers or sourcing materials - but we surely have a full-blown mess on our hands here. My employer in the summer after high school graduation ran a construction company, but his real area of expertise was killing. He was a career sniper and trainer in the USMC. He was what you might call a fairly direct geezer and he could assess performance from quite a long way away, if you catch my drift. Having observed my pre-apprentice skills putting on some cedar siding in the sweltering June heat of North Carolina, he said in his southern drawl, "listen son, how 'bout you keep least half the tools you're working with, like that hammer down there, at your end of the scaff'l'ing - maybe even in you too'belt, then you wouldn't have to keep getting up and down off them lilly white knees of yours and we might get some damn sidin' on the house 'fore the summer's out. Cause right now you lookin' 'bout like a f**kin' soup sandwich!" Ahh, if only my gentle teacher Mr. Yeager could see me now he'd be putting one of his other favourite questions to me - "Are ya f**kin' blind, son?!" I've been getting such generous and kind comments both through email and posted comments - I'm ashamed to think that for about 10 minutes I started to feel like I know what I'm doing - and it shows. Awake again now. It's another day. I'm able to get to this much sooner today so I'm going to do my best to wring out some of the soup.

Day 112

2007-05-11T22:51:00.001Z

Study: Pears
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning sketch)

Night shift. Stay tuned...[La-ater] After a jumbled day of thwarted plans and objectives - and a crook neck to go with it - all hope of tackling another 2 of something was slipping away. Before I knew it it was, and indeed still is, the middle of the night but I managed to drag me arse off the floor where I was exercising and relaxing my neck - and then passed out - to prepare a panel and set up this new still life of plump nocturnal vernal wonder. I feel I should gleen so much more from the early observational stages but get too excited to squeeze out and mix that green that seems to give me a delusory sense of the very power of Spring herself at my finger tips. These particular specimen have a tide line of red that stops abruptly daring anyone to knife-in the transition to the yellowy green that Nature has made look oh so simple. I'll try and get to this early tomorrow before preparing for some company in the early afternoon. We thought we'd take advantage of the wind and rain and have ourselves a little barbie (BBQ that is). If I don't get to it then, it'll have to be Sunday morning before a date with 208-week-old Isabella, who is surely going to bring her usual magic. A little marching muse - she is.

Day 111

2007-05-10T23:02:00.000Z

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board | Sold

That's that. Was it challenging, educational, rough and naughty? Oh yes indeed. Will I need to repeat the study another 20 times before it can be done with any familiarity or panache? Uh, yepper. The Chinese have the Kiwi as their national fruit. And after getting to know it over a short couple of days - better than I do most of my subjects - I now understand why. These hirsute little beauties are feisty. And. The longer they are exposed to the air and knives in the flailing hands of a cussing lunatic, they soon start shedding hair. Again, understandable. Apart from all of the practical and physical awkwardness of the lighting and fruit drying - I feel some new ground was covered here in stretching the palette. Pushing the green to neutral was an exercise in how much pink and violet I could pump into it before it started getting all colouristic. This isn't something that I'm averse to, I just find it superfluous to the agitated parameters of my usual tasks-at-hand. Besides, when I'm confronted with a battle like the non-reflective bristle of a surface such as these have, and confusion and tone are my only company, there's only so much I can do. Get thick paint on it and crank up the chroma. I noticed at one point that the drier it grew, the more pronounced the sinew radiating spoke-like around the core. It took some restraint to avoid taking my pointiest knife and carving them out one by one in the fashion of an illustrator doing a juice carton. But not only would that have been tedious and not really painting as I see it - it would have in turn called attention to the distinct lack of rendered bristle on the skin of it. And then I'd have had it. The devilish cycle will have begun then, with only the 4-colour print process - or death - at the sunset end of that road. I'm feeling really good about a new start on 2 of something - anything - tomorrow.

Day 110

2007-05-10T00:17:00.000Z

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In the works)

What a day. It's late and I need some rest. One thing's for sure, I must finish this tomorrow because they aren't the multi-session sort of subjects. I know this because when I came down to see them in the daylight today, they'd already started to dry out into an octagonal shape - and leaning quite a bit. This meant beginning over again with another piece of fruit and trying to get the cut as close as poss. Once I did this I realised the sun wasn't going to show me the way as per yesterday's prayers and this - or any painting - was going to involve lighting the stage. Being one of those days again where nothing is straightforward it was clear that I needed to step back from it. This led to a complete tidy, sweep and mop of the studio as a sort of energy channel laxative. Eventually got down to it quite late and I'm now positively certain this is going to be a tricky mistress. The only way it could be any trickier would be to add a pineapple as a third feature. Not a chance of that. These things let a lot of light through, and with the orange and green envelope, there's not a lot of room to stray either side, and keep it edible, loveable. The other thing is surface. The skin is actually green and translucent but obfuscated by a blonde-to-ginger covering of hair. At the end of the day it seems it's going to be about as much about managing fur lines as some kind of kooky Martian peepshow. And on that note, I cover them under glass - to retard evaporation - and call it another session. Thursday already - sheesh!

Day 109

2007-05-08T23:10:00.000Z

Study: Kiwi
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning?)

There seems to be no getting around the fact that these first days back after any sojourn away are going to be ugly. The sooner I learn to accept - but not necessarily expect - this, the better. Apart from scraping back the palette, nothing - not even the gesso on panel stage or the foray on the fruiterers - was synched with my tidal waters today. So. These chunky cuts of Chinese gooseberry (or Kiwi depending on which side of the Himalayas you come from) are giving me plenty to jot down in line one of square one of the naked checklist of my mind. The first thing, with a Vonnegut-styled asterisk beside it, is to see of we can't get them looking less like two hunks of jamon from a deli counter - and more like the luminous source of über-goodness they actually were as they rocked away from the knifeblade that unlocked them. On the outside they couldn't be less conducive to this painter's painting trowel, but the green fleshy inside is where I'm hoping the art is hiding. It always is. Lighting will be key in this and has been hell so far with the repositioned study stand and the time-lapse cloud strobe gusting across the Queen's island at present. I'm even going to have to make another batch of my putty medium as the mango's drained me of it before leaving town. When it starts this poorly, the only thing to do is look forward to squeezing out some of that buttery colour and praying for a few winks of sustained light to show me the way to the heart of it.

Day 108

2007-05-07T21:40:00.000Z

Only just arrived back from a delightful weekend away. All eventually went well with the signage project I was helping very a dear friend with. No time to do any work tonight - or while away for that matter - so won't be approaching the easel again until tomorrow - when I'm expecting to be able to draw from a considerably better cache of verve. My studio humms of ripened produce. Time to rest.

Day 105

2007-05-04T15:03:00.000Z

It's a non-painting day today - much to sort out before a trip to Yorkshire for the long bank holiday weekend. If I'm really lucky and organised - both of which are normally only characteristic in transient fits - I'll be posting more phone shots of beach drawings over the weekend. But since I'm doing some manual construction tasks as part of the trip, it's more likely that my agitivities will resume on Monday evening - by which time non-painting anxiety should be bubbling to frenzied levels.

Day 104*

2007-05-03T11:14:00.000Z

Study: Mangos
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board | Sold

Got back too late to get the image up last night so here's the 'finished' mangos from yesterday. More later.

Day 103

2007-05-01T21:49:00.000Z

Study: Mangos
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

Came to a few realisations today. The first one was that after years of saying how much sense the effect of the moon on Earthlings made, only today am I beginning to see these effects in action. Well not just today, but because the almost daily account of things in this new journaling discipline, if I go and look at what was occurring (or not) on previous moons going back 28 days at a time, I begin to see a pattern. One particularly strange self-portrait session comes screaming to the fore as does a nutty conclusion to what will be known as the Persimmon Project. Today was much the same. Close but ain't quite got it. Another breakthrough was learning what is meant by my putty being able to actually cut paint without the need for complimentary colour or some version of my own agitated white. This is big for me, because it means better handling of the super-saturated pigments (e.g. cadmium family) without so much waste and without blowing the hue when it only needs lifting or sliding one way or the other. And lastly but surely not leastly is the plain mortal fact of the changing shape of the focal lenses of my eyes. Yes. I've written it - and this is the first step in acceptance and change. For a few weeks now I've been finding that no matter how close I get to the tight spots - I'm just stabbing in - not quite the dark - but I really might as well close my eyes, apply paint, and then back away to see what wonders were enacted. Looks like a trip to eye doctor for a test is in order to read the proverbial writing on the wall. I can handle this - really. But tomorrow I'm looking forward to the full thrust of the lunar phenomena, now that I know what it's up to, and now that I know how to cut paint and also why I can't see up close. I'll give myself one more good glimpse - with eyes both open and closed - at these confounding little gems so I can push back and pull forward what needs it. And I'll squint away as I mentally tick them off 10 at a time.

Day 102

2007-04-30T19:31:00.001Z

Study: Mangos
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning)

Finally got around to the easel this afternoon. Had to get some gardening chores out of the way before another intensive week of painting and then a trip away this coming weekend. In the interest of time, I stopped at the nearest fruit stand which made for both a brief and shocking errand. As I selected just the right watermelon for today's study - from the 1 and 1-half on display - I excitedly skipped to the tills imagining how I might slice and backlight it, only to discover I didn't have enough change on me to cover the - £5.00(!) - he was asking for it. That's right £5 - which is about $10 US, depending on your conversion factor. I said "sorry, too much, I'll take it back out and get something a little less extravagant." With obvious room to haggle the guy at the till says "boss, this one, for you I make £4.50." Shaking my head as I head out to gently replace it in the bin, I'm thinking to myself - If I had that kind of money to drizzle away on a slice of watermelon to paint doesn't he think I'd buy myself some bootlaces from his "basic needs shelf" instead of the raffia macromé that's currently dangling over my soles? I then spotted 2 tomatos for a price reflecting the jingle in my pocket. Paid for those and left, but not before noticing the shop next store had these plump petit mango's glissening away for a relative song. Done. Getting the panel up and resolving the colour set-up was strangely not very straightforward. Eventually started ragging stuff in place to set up the viscous maneuvering tomorrow. The moon is waxing full before my eyes. I surely hope I've learned something from my last mango experience, or I could end up howling at shadows by this time tomorrow night, covered in that awkward colour located somewhere between the red and green on my palette - with sticky mango pulp all over my face.

Day 100 (Yip! Yip! Yip!...)

2007-04-28T19:53:00.000Z

Study: Orange II
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

Day 100. What a landmark. I'll write more later. The pressure of getting one done today has made me very very late for a do. More later.

Day 99

2007-04-27T20:24:00.000Z

Sketch: Orange II
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Beginning)

After a long busy weekend and then a lively quasi-fruitful week (if you'll pardon the pun) this place is looking rougher than a bear's bottom. Spent the day taking stock of materials I need, then cycled across a brightening London to Cornellison's for some white and deep red. As my luck would have it they were doing a promotion, so I got 50% off the lot. Marvelous. Next stop - after one swift refreshing pint of cider to take in the passersby in the sun (and review my purchases and receipt) - was the nearby Courtauld Gallery for a quick perusal of some powerful Guercino drawings. Whoa. I normally find rooms full of prints and drawings draining - but these were all original drawings and, having the exhibit virtually to myself, I could spin in circles in the center of the room and just go to the ones that caught my eye, meaning I got glass-steamingly close to every one there. In ink, wash, charcoal, chalk (sometimes dipped in resin) - and in about every combination thereof - he just whipped and slung line all over the place with blissful fury. Also had a quick peek at Mssrs Van Gogh and Cezanne. I feel I owe it to Vincent to stop and pay homage to him there, ear bandaged, and looking possibly certain that he's not long for the lackluster spectrum of our visual world. The Cezanne I spent the most time with was one done completely with the knife. As wonderful as it was, I dare say - somehow skimming the edges of blashemy - it could have done with a bit more paint - you know? - surface. Lord knows he could afford it. Ah, he knows I jest. After racing younger and fitter fellow cyclists along the Strand, up the Mall past Buckingham Palace and through Hyde Park, I arrived back here changed and prepared a panel for next study. Once I got everything set up and the orange in place, I started gathering some tonal information. Within about an hour it was clear the sun wasn't going to stick around long enough to get my colours mixed - and a nocturnal wasn't going to illuminate the flesh - so I'll try and do it all before a barbeque tomorrow afternoon. I'm not feeling pressure because it's Day 100 or anything...

Day 98

2007-04-26T23:20:00.000Z

Top:
Study: Nocturnal Papaya
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

Bottom:
Study: Strawberries
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

The good news is that I was able to take two paintings as far as I needed today. The bad news is that I never got around to updating yesterday's blog, and this one is going to have to wait until later because it's too late at night now. I worked very late, ate very late and now am exhausted. I'm in a strange predicament where it feels like the painting is getting in the way of the blogging a little bit. I'll endeavour to get the editorial side back in balance soon. Although it doesn't seem long ago that I was hoping to be in such a predicament as this. When the habit forming obsession of it all would kick in and carry me away to another level. So much to do.
[Later] That's it for Day 98.

Day 97

2007-04-25T21:51:00.001Z

Study: Two Strawberries
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(Nearly there)

Late one. Rest now, more later.

Day 96

2007-04-24T22:31:00.000Z

Study: Orange Slice
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

I can't help thinking it's been pretty plain to see, but I do have the occasional day that is better than the others, and fortunately today was one of those. It's difficult to remember when the last time it was that I went straight through from the gesso to the finished article. The trip to Shepherd's Bush market today in search of subjects included a delectable stop-over at the falafel stand, which could easily become a habit. I wasn't exactly sure what I'd be bringing home but ended up with this grand orange and some other things I haven't tried before. As I was thinking of how I was going to set it up when I got back, I felt the best way to get down to it was to eat one (of 3) and as soon as I sliced the first quarter and God laid that smile of Her's on me, I was off the the races. In addition to not having a panel ready - I had to also had to explore and mix a backdrop colour. The underpainting exercise, which is usually a swift study in tone, went super swiftly. So I decided to use what I gathered from this to guide me through the painting instead of trying to re-do it again with fat pigment - which was the old approach. Separating these two phases - even if only rationally - helped me tremendously to keep it loose and move far away from rendering - and stick to the the mixing, looking and trowelling. When I couldnt see what I needed to in the subject, the answers were right on my palette. If only I could bottle the experience of such psychological silence - no voices or criticisms. That would be uh strange. I've got to do another coloured panel to put behind tomorrow's subjects and get some sleep. [I'd just like to note that any feedback I get on this blog or work is hugely appreciated - but - I had a particularly fantastic one from a piano teacher in Canada, who began a recent lesson by getting her students to view the black plum study up close and then far away, as an analogous exercise to approaching a piece of music. This kind of news could carry me through the month - so nice. Here's to Dr. Brandi and her students!]

Day 95

2007-04-23T22:12:00.000Z

Study: Black Plum
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board | Sold

Finally got back to work today - and to this black plum. Had something of a rare marathon of a social schedule since Thursday night. This coupled with some emergency life-saving in our recently-neglected garden, the painting was starting to feel a hundred miles away from me again. Fortunately, once I did get back to it today, it was like getting back together with an old friend - particularly in trying not to notice the ripening flesh drooping here and shriveling there. About halfway through the session I realized the paint was getting piled so high it was running the risk of becoming an archival casualty someday sooner rather than later without the proper cantilevering systems in place to support its projecting branches, limbs and ledges. Somewhat randomly I swapped the music programming to some nostalgically annihilating classic rock stream and found myself abandoning all semblance of craft and habit. While I desperately aspire to pratice the art of detachment where my head plugs into the amplifier of my soul, the poetry of those dinosaurs of the revolution kept reminding me of the dreams of youth. During what must have covered a near 90% sampling of my older brother's rather eclectic 1979 album collection - with no electronic wawa gizmo left un-tickled. Once realisation set in that the paint was reaching out to me like a toddler in a mudslide - I bobbed my head to the thumping of some Woostock legend or other and burnished a page from last Sunday's property section right across the entire fat, precious format of it - and tonked it away. To my excitement and glee it was like peering at it through the windshield, on the highway in a honey downpour, without the wipers on a high-enough speed. Simply marvelous. After the wonder of the technical gimmickry of it soon wore off - I was sure I'd just stepped across the threshold of change in my process. The putting on and scraping back went on and on and was a pure delight. But as soon as I found something I thought I'd better leave - so I can get on with something else - I learned a new stopping tactic. This was reaching out and plucking the patient little bleeder from the stand and chomping through to it's fleshy pitted center. Time to move on. Going forward, is going to be both exciting and tortuous, but it's been coming for some time. And without change in the process, actual art and my daily efforts aren't likely to cross paths very often. There've been some things about dragging paint around - things I've been hell-bent on doing before I die - that I haven't been doing nearly enough of for some time now. It's that old music that reminded me. If things get too hairy - I can always blame it on both guitarists named Jimmy, Rush and Legs Diamond. Might even have to go out and get me a tatoo. Perhaps a mango or black plum.

Day 94

2007-04-21T22:37:00.000Z

No painting today. Sorting out some much needed gardening, non-painting painting stuff and social engagements.

Day 93

2007-04-20T18:56:00.001Z

Study: Black Plum
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

Slightly exhausted I'm going to have to update this posting after some rest.[Later-Monday] Avoiding being too loud and garrish with the palette has always been a challenge of mine. Recently I've noticed this coming under control considerably and I think this is from working consistently from life. That said, I feel this palette is a little on the restricted side - not a bad thing by any means - unless it's restricted by this cool minty permanant green. So dense is this pigment that a 225ml tube of it could easily cover the interior walls, cell padding and inhabitants - of our local assylum - and to great emotionally calming effect. When I get back to this I'm going to go a little nuts and maybe introduce a mixed green of yellow and blue, of all things, to try and temper it a little. This might give me a chance to get more punch from a violet around the outside. Not that I'm finding this colour is actually there - the thing is pretty deep blue black, and dusty. But it needs some colour variation to give it shape - just to state the obvious for a line here.

Day 92

2007-04-19T19:13:00.001Z

Study: Black Plum
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

Back from dinner with an eccentric Dutch/Lillipudlian couple who are just gagging for their own reality TV show. How fluid the Dutch are as they top your cava with one hand, and clear your plate of carmelized pear remnants with the other - and then with a mysterious other, nonchalantly pass you the most debilitating version of a post-prandial wiggarette this side of the English Channel. Oh the plums! I felt there was alot of potential left in the last study, so thought I'd see what could happen if I got this subject on its own - without the other to hide behind and before. As I mentioned earlier (and no doubt throughout dinner) my more direct process has been concealing opportunities along the way that I feel might be best left un-obfuscated. I've decided to try a more reflective and colourful surface to set everything up on, rather than the reliable old MDF of the last couple of months. More consideration is required to retain those expressive insights that emerge from beyond the sheep-fence of jargon providing the source of my visual vocabulary of late. I was astutely advised recently on possibly approaching the underpainting with a looser - just what could happen here - approach. Although I had earnestly intended to follow this advice, I immediately proceeded to carry out the tightest, most dense underpainting of any subect to date. This is a minor thing, though, considering the very turpy tonk this will get tomorrow to bring it on home from the cheap, droopy jaws of mere rendition. No fridge time required now - drying is okay.

Day 91

2007-04-18T22:44:00.001Z

Study: Two Black Plums I
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board

I'm trying some new photographic lighting scenarios for grabbing the images now that we're getting so much more sunlight. [Later] So I figured these were deep and splackled over enough. I'll start another tomorrow. Not to autocurse my situtuation here, but contrary to my gripe during the depths of winter - I'm going to have to consider seriously putting the portability of my study-stand into action. It's getting so bright in here in the afternoons. Blindingly so. I find myself short of a hand to hold things. This is because it gradually works it way up my side following the shoulder that rises like it's holding an invisible phone to the ear. Then up it goes like I'm 9 - and looking-in a high pop-fly in the mid-day sun. Then it's way up straight overhead, upper arm pressed to the right ear awaiting the painting to answer a question from the sunny rear of the class. All this to put the right retina in enough shade to see what the hecksdybedecksdy I'm doing. I forget it was there until the reminder came screaming down in the form of a drop of purple medium off the edge of a knife, to my oblivious right cheek from up where the pop-fly normally would have. I'm sorry if this makes my generously helpful brethren on the eastern seaboard feel bad - but hey - that's the breaks I guess. Me here in the dark, maritime London all winter, with seconds of sunlights a day - and then it gets all hyper-solar on us here real quick. Can't even see the edges of the planes on my forms for the long shadows being cast from atop the heights of the impasto ridges. Apart from this, I'm feeling the constant pull of a more indirect process struggling to come through. Often as I'm working over some passage of secondary space - or when scraping-out for the umpteenth time, I'm shown so many beautiful and accidental strata of colour - the likes of which would be impossible to directly impose into the thing - and I think do I have the courage to leave it showing? Well. it's clear from the contiguous terrain of agitated ridge reflection that I wasn't - this time. It is coming though. Perhaps on the single plum tomorrow, which I'll be attempting to build up more loosely - with air enough for birds to fly in and through. I'll see if I can't try to let a little art sneak in as well - for longer - and stay. All this painting is finding a way to suffocate parts of my creative expression. Just when the reigns seemed within reach.

Day 90

2007-04-17T20:00:00.000Z

Study: Two Black Plums I
56 x 35 cm | Oil on Board
(In progress)

I'll be writing more on these love birds later after I've had some dinner. But, I will say now that this study get's dedicated to Mr. Fat Paint, himself - David Oleski - who not only lays down a deliciously superb plum amongst many other subjects, but also because some 90 days ago he was the one to urge me to take on this oil journey and to take it to the masses and the few. [Later] These dark darlings had to be left to ripen for a day while I regrouped and recovered from the pineapple experience. Moving from barky surface to butt-smoothe was just as jolly as I was hoping. As has been noted elsewhere, the utter lack of colour variation is a starker (than usual) exercise in observation, if not a little hide and seeky. With now you see it now you don't reads on the warms and cools - and all deep. I'm reasonably settled on the colour for now, athough the slight variations aren't showing up as much digitally. To avoid over-doing it on this another will be started tomorrow after I turn some of the planes of this to the light and also into the dark slightly. I'm noticing the shuffle between the square and wider formats to be useful in avoiding a formulaic approach to space, moving from both front to back and laterally. The other bonus is that these smaller ones fit nicely on a cleared bottom shelf of the refrigerator for a near suspension of the drying process - handy to find - when the study so often carries over to the next day and alot of swiftly drying blues have gone down. It also gives the butter this - I can't beleive it's not linseed oil - kind of flavour - the toxic implications of which are elusive in the handbook.

Day 89*

2007-04-16T23:14:00.000Z

Study: Orange and Quince
76 x 46 cm | Acrylic on Linen | 2006

No painting today. I've been nursing a minor sports injury to my beloved, picking up new fruit, catching up on some miscellaneous errands etc and making ready to squeeze out into the next session tomorrow. The painting shown here is one of my (*not done today postings) from my acrylic days way on back in 2006. It was interesting to see the differences in attitude and approach from then to now. I would say how much I'm looking forward to seeing the work of April 2008 - but that would be going against our rules about focusing on the study of now, and what is possible to create from that, no matter how painful or confusing.